Night Watch Changeling Part 1
by Gothmayden
Summary: This story takes place a few months after the 4th book in the Night Watch series, and NOT the movies at all, which had a different story layout to the books. Told in 1st person by Anton...Please be warned, will contain spoilers for all the books...enjoy!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Sit down Anton"

Gesar gesture towards the too familiar chair, every time I sat here meant trouble.

"There's a little matter I wish to discuss"

"Cut to the chase, what is it?"

I sat, what else could I do? The instant I was down a knock sounded at the door, and opened without waiting. Zabulon entered, dress in a dark tracksuit which didn't seem to fit. I must have sat there with my mouth hanging open as he smirk and in an almost jovial mood said "I was relaxing...what? Am I not allowed some down time as well?"

He sat in the big armchair by the door, out of my direct line of sight....it didn't feel good

"Anton" Gesar spoke in his more usual, business tones, even the head of the watches rarely let there guard down in front of each other. "I have called you here on an important matter. Svetlana's initiation of Nadya was a necessity but its caused us a problem. The sides are now seriously unbalanced in favor of the light. Now as things go I wouldn't normally complain but......" Gesar turned to Zabulon, "I think this should be your part of the story, Great one"

A lesser magician may have been shocked to here Gesar giving Zabulon an honorific as that, seeing as they were of equal rank, but I knew from experience that Gesar never did anything without a dozen reasons. With my interest piqued I turn to the head of the Dark Watch and boldly asked.."Well?"

"Always the impatient one Anton" Zabulon smiled, and it sent a chill down my spine.

"It seems that your little girls initiation has caught the attention of the twilight....enough to threaten another mirror. Recently we initiated a new witch, only a 6th level but with an uncanny ability to read the future probability lines...better than even myself and Gesar here....and I do not say that lightly. She has said a Mirror is imminent in 7 days time. Normally we would weather this, and enjoy watching the light lose a few, shall we say, extras.."

His grin aimed at Gesar was not unnoticed.

"But with the recent...events...in the twilight, we think this time it may not be so simple".

Simple! Last time a Mirror appeared it almost wiped out the watches!

"What do you mean Zabulon? I asked

"The twilight is empty....and growing hungry"

I snorted a derisory laugh. "How can it be hungry, it cannot feed off others, we're the parasites."

After I had released all the others souls from level 6 I had been back briefly to look....I knew the 2 heads of the watches had to, and Sveta had to take Nadya away from it just the day before, but I didn't see it was "hungry", but then I didn't know what I was looking for, or why I had even gone....something called me, but when I got there the call was long gone.

"Yes Anton, we both heard the call to" I hate it when Gesar does that....but its worse when its Zabulon, if feels like your psych has just been raped.

"The twilight is calling....and its others who are feeling it, all others, not just light, not just dark, all. Its "lonely" if such a thing were actually possible, and to "cut to the chase" as you so nicely put it, both myself and Gesar are worried that this time a mirror might not stop at just readdressing the balance."

"So what has this got to do with me?"

Dumb question.

Gesar rose from his seat and sat on the front of his desk, looking down into my face. "You wont like this Anton, but Egor has to be initiated into the Dark. He has the potential to be as powerful as Svetlana and would help at least in part with the imbalance....at least long enough until something else can be arranged."

"But why are you asking me? I cant initiate him? Isn't there someone in the Dark watch who can gain his trust?"

"I wish there were Anton". Zabulon was stood behind me, his hand brushed against my neck and I stifled an urge to scream. "But as you know Egor is a smart kid...he knows when we approach him. I'm looking forward to his 'joining' with us...but how still eluded me, until now".

"But surely all you need to do is put him into a negative mood and drag him in"

I knew this wasn't the answer...its never done that way for any of us, a subtle guiding of emotions is required, and you cant drag them in the first time, an uninitiated other must reach for the twilight themselves, then it does the rest. I always thought it was ironic that the difference between a Light other and a Dark one could simply be the mood your in when you first enter. Pass into the shadow for the first time in a good mood, such as in love, happy, even just relaxed and the twilight changed you for the light, sucking out all the negativity like a leech. Go into the shadow in a bad mood, jealousy, anger, or even a plain stubbed toe, and the twilight fed from your good side. It doesn't mean that you come back out a good or bad person after that first time...but your perceptions are permanently altered. I'd always found the difference blurred in many of us, but the Dark always seemed to try and find the easy road to a solution....kill a wrong-doer rather than reason and guide them.

That was the politest way I could think of it, the Dark had the vampires and werewolves..more genuine killers on there side than I could stomach. Although after recent events I had being to wonder.

"No, no, if only it were that simple" the Dark one continued, "Egor isn't technically uninitiated...he was "becoming" one of us until someone decided to play with a piece of chalk".

Zabulons hard stare at Gesar spoke volumes, I'm glad I wasn't on the receiving end of it.

"No, its not that simple now...when Egor enters the twilight this time he will know what to expect and guard against it. He has to enter with a Dark other now, and the twilight will use the ...Pattern if you like.. of the dark one to initiate him into that mold. Unfortunately, due to his potential power, a normal Dark other will not do...it can be a..painful..process even to someone equal to the one being initiated this way."

Gesar interjected. "Its standard procedure as you know to initiate someone with a higher level other just in case." He looked at Zabulon with a 'We do teach our members correctly' kind of frown.

"Quite, quite" sighed Zabulon, waving his hand in a dismissive gesture. "But the fact of the matter is Egor knows or can sense, either way its the same, our higher ones. An the Inquisition is digging its heels in and demanding that we settle this matter ourselves, seeing as mirrors tend to be regional. In my opinion Edgar stole so many of there precious items and pulled so many of their teeth they're afraid to even lift their pathetic heads out of the statute books".

Zabulon bent down and spoke close to my ear. "No, what we need is a Higher Light one to change, one who he wouldn't think of as being Dark".

I suddenly got a sickening feeling in my stomach, "Not Nadya....no, shes only just become a light other, your not having her!"

Zabulon burst out laughing. "Oh Anton...if it were that simple the mirror could be held off forever, swapping your daughter back and forth between the watches, and she could to if she wanted to. A zero point doesn't come along very often. The problem would be that eventually she would either choose permanently one side or the other, or be driven totally insane....best to leave well alone in that department. No what we need is a more permanent solution."

Zabulon commenting on my daughters future sanity in such an offhanded manner angered me, but I kept quiet.

"No, we need Egor...more than one Egor really but one is all we have for now. When we had him the last time..." and a sly look was thrown at Gesar who completely ignored it, "we could tell he was at least level 1 material, even as a higher with a bit of maturity. And with a few new acquisitions we've made on the way " another look "...the balance, while not restored, will at least be swinging back the way it ought to be. "

"So what do you want me for, I'm no help to you, or hadn't you noticed I'm the wrong shade?"

A creeping thought began to play at the edges of my mind, but I pushed it away....it was ridiculous.

"Anton", Gesar's reasoning voice...the creeping thought became a weighted dread, "Look at this office in the twilight".

Something we rarely did was enter the twilight in this office...Gesar valued his privacy highly and no one wanted a pissed off Boss on there tail. But he had given permission, so I entered the shadow and dropped to level one.

The weighted dread became screaming, cold fear. The entire room was charged with power. Hundreds, if not thousands of artefacts lit up the gloom like a solar flare, there must have been years worth of work to create them all...many many years worth, and they were all active. I looked at the two watch leaders, both were bursting with indrawn energy, and the weaving of a spell on there fingertips I didn't recognise...and the worse was they were both holding back the same spell.

"Anton" Gesar spoke again. "There is a way"

Zabulons hands were around my neck a fraction of a second before I realised what they were going to do, Gesars a fraction after. I screamed as a searing pain burned its way through my soul, I fought back, not physically, to a human observer none of us would be moving a muscle, but the power coursing through the room and me was more than I thought possible. I shielded and struck out, it was countermanded each time by both of them. I could feel Zabulon pulling, Gesar pushing, my soul tearing. I screamed again, and was joined in unison by both Dark and light. Power flowed through me, a strength I never knew I had, but the pain seared my mind into a sheet of while light, which gradually dimmed to nothingness....darkness.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I must have passed out, when I opened my eyes Gesar was slumped on the floor holding his head in his hands. Zabulon had crawled back to the chair, sweat caked to his tracksuit. I understood why he was wearing it now, he was so exhausted he was having difficulty holding his full human shape, just slightly, but enough to make more normal clothes uncomfortable and, more importantly, noticeable. But that didn't extend to his eyes, they sparkled with delight....and that frightened me most of all.

"By the Dark! Such power! Gesar, why don't we just keep this one and call it keeps eh?"

Gesar looked up, and he was crying...crying! With a trembling hand he pointed at Zabulon. "That was not the agreement and you know it. And the power was not his, he is no match for even one of us, what you felt was the twilight fighting back, we were fighting against that, not him. But, by the light, I didn't expect it to be so hard."

An admission of weakness by Gesar!

I trembled as I tried to stand up. "What have you done to me?" I managed to whisper horsely.

"Enter the twilight" Zabulon said. Gesar only nodded.

I reached for my shadow and entered the first level again. All the artefacts were dead, completely drained, including ones I hadn't even noticed before, and then I became confused. Nothing felt right, nothing looked right, my skin crawled like it was being caressed by cobwebs, in my head was a savage throbbing pulsing its beat with my heart. And there were claw marks on my body, invisible in the real world but real here. I tried to call up a simple healing spell and I keeled over, vomiting on the floor, huge pain spasms coursed through every nerve in my body. I fell out of the twilight curled up on the floor.

"What have you done to me? What have you done?"

Gesar pulled himself up off the floor. "I said there was a way".

Zabulon smiled..... "Welcome to my world Anton"

"But why?" I groaned "Why me?"

Gesar gave my a rye look

"You could have asked me first! I cant be a Dark other, I didn't... I.." I broke down and cried, I'm not ashamed to say it. Sveta warned me, Nadya warned me in her little way, my daughter, my baby.....

I felt a breath in my ear as a voice rasped "I told you I would keep an eye on you...now your mine"

"Zabulon! Stop scaring the boy" Gesar was fast regaining his composure

"Anton...we did something that was suppose to be impossible. We...changed...you to the dark against your will"

"Arina...that damned book"

Gesar nodded, "The Fuaran was many things, including damned".

I screamed and lunged at him, but Zabulon caught me, he was always faster.

"You bastard! You've destroyed me!"

"Oh stop being so dramatic" The dark boss said. "It had to be against your will, its not permanent, if it had been your idea...it would have been. Such high morals you light ones have, you would have sacrificed yourself willingly to save Nadya."

"Save....?"

"If a mirror comes, who would be the first one it would seek out?"

Gesar nodded, "As much as I hate to say it, for once Zabulon is right. Nadya is the keystone to the imbalance. Egor will go part way to addressing that. It had to be you, Egor knows you as a light other, not a dark. Once you initiate him it will be too late."

"Once I initiate him? What makes you think I can persuade him?"

Gesar starred into my eyes. "Innocent lives may have to be sacrificed, as a light other you couldn't do it, as a dark you will at least have some protection from the guilt".

Zabulon added "You must get him mad, sad, bad, before you drag him into the twilight....then it will do the rest...you initiate the same way as a light other...the twilight will forge him for us"

Despite the strong words, I could see Zabulon losing more of his human form...he was draining his power still. Gesar noticed to. "Drop the shield now, the deed is done"

Zabulon seemed to visibly sag as the shield around the room was dropped...Gesar, to, seemed to start recovering himself better. Anyone else would never have been allowed to see any weakness in these two...I had no choice in the matter.

Zabulon reached out and shook my hand...."Welcome to the Day watch fellow Dark magician...and may your stay be a long one".

"Seven days" Gesar added. "Seven days to find and Initiate Egor. I don't like the idea but there is no choice."

"And what about me" I croaked "What about this"...I waved my hand through my aura, already changing with the Dark overtones.

"Come back to us in Seven days, and we will re initiate you, the change back will be much easier as its your nature to be Light. But don't leave it any longer...or we might not be able to."

Gesar ran his fingers through his hair and whispered "I don't truly know if we can even now..."

I remembered screaming again as suddenly a portal opened behind me and hands roughly dragged me through...my last image being the total surprise on Gesar's and Zabulon's faces.....


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"Sveta! Semyon! I....I..." I fell through the portal and passed out at there feet. When I came to, Sveta was cradling me in her arms, the cold, hard floor pressing against my back.

"I got you as quick as I could, they were heavily shielded, I couldn't get through...Nadya wanted to help, but I didn't want to put her in danger, damn I wish I had let her now. Anton, Anton, what did they do to you"

"They...they...changed me...somehow......wheres Nadya?"

"Semyon is with her, I thought it better than her seeing Daddy like this"

I couldn't even sense her anymore...had I lost everything?

"Sveta...what do I look like?"

"Like shit, why?"

"My aura...whats my aura like?"

"I cant tell, its like you've been completely drained out. Did they do that to you?"

I realized that my aura was somehow being masked by something. "Sveta, check my pockets, anywhere on me...I think they slipped an artifact on me somewhere"

"Cant you feel it yourself?"

"Sveta, I cant feel anything....except pain....please...help me...look for something...you can see the aura.....but please, if you remove it don't be afraid"

A quick search of the pockets came up blank, but Sveta's hand brushed the back of Anton's collar when she repositioned his head in her lap. But she didn't remove it. "Anton, I think I've found it, it feels like a simple hair grip...but I cant see it working, although I can feel the power coming from it"

She took a glance through the twilight. "Yes, its a blocking field, its suppressing your aura...it makes you look like a normal human, even I can only just see a little through it, it makes you appear to be an uninitiated other, too weak to bother with. Why on earth did they bother with that, you can do that yourself if you wanted"

"Sveta, I cant do anything at the moment.....remove it and see"

Hesitantly, constantly looking for traps, Sveta pulled off the clip. It took a few seconds for the effect to wear off, and a few more for the truth to sink in. She screamed.

"Anton! No nooooooo your dark!"

She recoiled at speed, almost smashing my head into the ground, and pressed her back to the wall.

"Anton, how could you! Why?"

"I didn't! They did it to me, Gesar and Zabulon".

I then told her all that had happened, she just stood there with a growing look of determination on her face.

"I'll kill them, both of them."

"Sveta, no! I sort of understand why they did it...I just wish it didn't hurt so much"

"Oh love, your in pain! Let me heal you" She placed her hands on my brow, the pain eased

"Twilight....I've got stuff you cant see", thinking of the claw marks on my chest.

Sveta moved into the first level, taking me with her, the frown said it all. Her hands moved with the healing spells I recognized, and some I didn't, I could feel the power building, but nothing seemed to be happening. Sweat beads began to appear on her brow which she wiped away with her sleeve without missing a step. A long time seemed to pass, but I knew it couldn't have been more than an hour, my time perception was badly skewed still, when Sveta lifted us both back out of the twilight.

"Anton, I cant heal it, and I used both light and dark spells, there's little difference when it comes to healing. What ever it is, its part of the spell they used on you, until its lifted it wont heal, in fact I think it'll get worse. Oh god, Anton, its going to kill you, I could see your light energy trickling out of the gashes.....I think I've slowed it, but its only bought some time"

"So then, to save myself I have to go through with the plan. Succeed and be healed, fail, die, and they get there balance back anyways. Either way I lose....I cant initiate Egor against his will, its as bad as what they have done to me, and yet I don't want to die. As a light other, a noble death would be great...just great" my voice was thick with sarcasm "but they had to make me dark....already I can feel the survivalist instinct kicking in...to hang with anyone else as long as I'm OK"

"Anton Gorodetsky, you will not go to the dark...your a higher, your my husband and most of all you're Nadyas daddy. Get up off that floor now and listen to me!"

What a way with words she has...I started to stand but staggered, Sveta was there instantly, taking my arm, helping me to get up, holding me close.

"Never give into the dark Anton, never"

"I wont"....I hoped that was true......

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So what next?". Sveta was making a snack for Nadya. We were at Semyons place, ours would be being watched, even here was a risk but Semyon was no beginner at this sort of thing.

"Find Egor I suppose" I was putting on a clean shirt Sveta had bought on our way here. "But I don't know where to start". I winched as I turned sharply, the wounds might not be visible in the normal world, but they were still there. "Problem is, I don't know where to start".

"Edinburgh". Semyon injected, "That would be the obvious starting place to me."

"I should think hes moved on since then. Pity I don't have access to the intelligence records from here, I might have been able to trace at least where hes been, and get a better idea of a starting point" My fingers drummed an arrhythmical beat on the table....where had I picked that up from?

"Seven days and the entire world to search".

Semyon looked sideways at me. "I have a terminal here in the flat, but you will have to wipe all trace afterwards.....I'm not suppose to know about what your suppose to do" He smirked "..except I know what you left behind in the records office years ago....they never updated you know?"

I was the Light watches I.T. technician for a while, and built a few fail-safes into the record storage systems, and a few hidden backdoors as well. It was Semyons idea...always like to have back up did Sem. Most of the lower others, light, dark and uninitiated, were "kept an eye on" in the system, although for most it was no more than change of addresses. I hoped Egors data had been kept up to date, seeing as there was so much interest in him. But could I get in now? Id built the system pretty robustly, and if anyone had thought to change my passes I was locked out.....I'm no hacker despite what the rest of them thought at the time. I fingered the aura suppressor Id put in my pocket earlier...although I knew too damn well Nadya could see through it....and followed Semyon to the cupboard where he kept his laptop...'terminal', Sem showed his age sometimes. Nadya was tucking in to some sandwiches and juice and smiled at me, but I saw something flicker in her eyes akin to concern....so much for the suppressor when shes around.

"Here you are.....its not been used for a while though." Semyon past me the laptop. A while was right, I could write my name in the dust on it...he seriously needed a woman around here....then I remembered what he told me in Edinburgh and I instantly regretted the thought. An old machine was all I needed, I connected the modem to his phone outlet...dial-up! It would do, but hopefully wouldn't give them time to trace where I was attempting this from. After a long boot up I began. Access was surprisingly easy...Semyon was right, they hadn't updated in all the years Id been away from the department. I'm surprised any of it was still running. Egors details came up quickly, according to the data he was somewhere in England....but it was a month out of date. Then the screen went blank, and a picture of Gesar appeared.

"Dammit!" I cursed, he guessed Id try this. Over the picture an audio message played...

'I thought you would access this file so I left this message for you......if your reading this then the plan is proceeding. This is the only current information we have on Egors whereabouts, and he seems to have gone into hiding. Here is the last known address he stayed at' On-screen 'This was as recent as a week ago, it will not be entered onto the main records until all this is over in case anyone else accesses this file.'

'Anton, be warned....I don't for a minute believe all that Zabulon has claimed, but I do know something is happening and its happening soon. I'm sorry we had to do it this way, and I'm also sorry the spell was flawed, Arina wasn't 100% sure of the full enchantment.....and I felt the damage done to you before it was over, but it was too late to stop. But whats done is done....now you know what you need to do......do it...and quickly....or Svetlana will kill me'.

At first I thought Gesar was attempting a rare joke, until I saw Svetas face in the doorway.

"Hes right, I will, and I can to.....but that's not the point."

I turned back to the screen but it was blank, the whole laptop had been remotely wiped. "Sorry Semyon, Gesar got to it".

"No problem, young man, never used the thing much anyhow. Did you remember to make a note of the address?"

"Got it"...I was already planning routes and flights for myself. "Sveta, stay here with Semyon for now, I know he wont mind...."

"Oh just like a dark, take someone for granted!" Semyon raised his hands in the air in mock surrender....until he saw the expression on my face.."Anton I'm sorry...I didn't mean it like that."

"I know Sem, I know".... I did know...I HAD taking it for granted, and never thought about it for a moment. The rot was setting in.

Sveta knew to. "Anton.....do you need a portal opening?"

"No, I have to learn how to handle this myself.....I could be stuck with it for a while"

I though about a portal to our house, a simple spell as the distance wasn't great....but I couldn't grasp it. Then I remembered...and did what I can only describe at the opposite of what I would normally do...and it appeared. I checked through it for traps but it was clear. I turned to Sveta. "I'm going to pick up a few things then head to the airport. See you when I get back." I grinned and vanished through, the portal closing behind me.

Sveta looked at Semyon. "Not even a kiss goodbye..", and she smiled at Nadya....but Sem could see she was crying inside.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The journey through the airport was pretty uneventful, it was easy to convince eyes not to see me, to slip by customs unseen. I wondered why I never did it this way before, but then Id never had time so pressing against me before. By the time I arrive at my destination it would be 'Day 2'....24 hours lost. While I was sitting in my seat waiting for the take-off I fingered the aura suppressor in my pocket. Which of the watch bosses put it there, and why? It wasn't an everyday item, more of something the inquisition would want to have in there vaults. Suddenly I thought of Edgar and all the items he had 'obtained' when he was part of them...where were most of them now? Agreed, most of them had been returned that hadn't been used, but not all...and even the inquisition didn't know how many were missing in total, or even what they all did. My thoughts naturally turned to Arina, the likely candidate for having some of them from Edgar...so was It Gesar then?

But then it was clipped to my shirt collar, Zabulon could have easily put it there as well. So no second-guessing that way either.

Take off was smooth, I ordered a drink from the stewardess....well, an upgrade to 1st class had been easy to arrange, only the gentlest of persuasion was needed, the flight wasn't full. I really need to do this more often. Quite a few good quality vodkas later, I decided to look at the rest of the passengers through the twilight. Down to first level, and that skin crawling sensation again. I was beginning to get use to it, but I cant say it was pleasant. Nothing beyond what I expect, all human, one potential other, but low grade. If I was in the business of looking for possible recruits though I'd have sent the information through...not so many others as to miss the opportunity for a new one these days, no matter how low.

I bent my head to look at my chest and blanched....the claw marks looked like they were festering, and although the twilight has no smell I was sure I could smell a sickly odour coming up off them. Strange, as at the moment I felt fine. More than fine, a little tipsy, and an increasing need to pee.

I came out of the twilight and stood up, making my way as steadily as I could to one of the small toilet cubicles. After the necessary, on a complete whim, I decided to look at the economy class through the twilight, so I peeped through the curtain.

Sat in the first two rows were 4 others, two dark and two light.

The coincidence that we were all going to the same place on the same flight was very small. I was being watched.

It was probably the alcohol in my system, which I hadn't bothered to use a healing spell to filter out, that made me do the next thing. I walked up to all of them and said "Hello, may I introduce myself, I'm Anton Gorodetsky, the reason you've been put on this flight. I hope you have an enjoyable stay when we land, I know I will" with a huge grin on my face, and walked back to first class.

The look on there faces was worth it. I have visions of all of them reporting back everything I said and did. No matter...now I knew they were there I had no intention of being on the plane by the time it landed.

Half an hour before we arrived I went to the toilet again....waving to the four others as I went. I locked the cubicle. And opened a portal. Its a dangerous thing to attempt, opening a portal at speed, as you can be traveling at the same speed when you emerge. Messy. But I was planning something that I didn't know was possible....alcohol bravado again....but it was the only way. I entered the twilight, as deep as I could go in the few seconds it took me to pass through the portal.

The twilight was blurred. Motion blur was not unheard of in here, but five hundred mile an hour blur was a sight to behold. Even though I can move faster than the 'real' world in here, when the real world is traveling so fast there is no way I can keep up.

I slammed into a wall of mist and blue moss at high velocity, I felt something snap in my left arm, and another in my left leg. A screeching agony shot up my groin and into my backbone, my eyesight blanked out for a few seconds, I couldn't breathe. I thought 'Oh well done Anton, you just killed yourself' as I tumbled over and over before finally coming to a stop.

I lay there assessing the damage....being in the twilight, 3rd level now, was the only thing that saved my life. That, and whatever Id hit was yielding yet invisible. Broken arm and leg on the left side, cracked ribs on the right and I didn't even what to think what the groin pain was. But I was alive, and Id done the impossible. The vodka was wearing off fast though and so would the confidence that went with it. I rapidly worked through the healing spells I knew to patch up enough to leave the gloom, but it was still a few hours back at level 1 before I'd even dare to see where I'd ended up. Using dark magic still felt strange, but no longer uncomfortable, although the deep throbbing in my head refused to go even after Id stopped, and it wasn't from the crash landing.

Eventually exhaustion force me to leave, and I found myself on a sandy beach. It was nighttime, but no stars, it was cloudy. I was stood with my left side to some large sand dunes, which looked recently disturbed. I shuddered, my impact site was clear to see if you knew what it was. If that had been a building or even the water itself, I would be dead....there's even a limit to what the twilight can do, and entering while traveling through the portal was stupid...stupid! But it had worked.

By now they would certainly know I was no longer on the plane, even though my luggage still was.

Damn, that was a blow, all I had was the clothes I stood up in and they were not in the best condition anymore. But if Id carried the lightweight travel bag into the toilets with me they would have guessed what I was going to attempt to do and block me. If they were any good at their job they would have already read the energy left behind and know what I'd done. And this dune....if they know where to look they will find it. It explained why I couldn't see what Id hit in the twilight though, not only the fact it was a blind portal. Dunes are living, impermanent things, so don't show up there.

No point trying to cover it up, it was too large and I was too bone-weary. It took all my willpower to move up the dunes away from the beach, the tide was turning and the last thing I needed was to drowned in my sleep. But as to where I was and what to do next I was just too tired to care about, I found a hollow between two steep dunes, scratched out a small indentation, lay down, flicking as much sand over me as I could to blend in, and fell asleep.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next morning, not long after dawn, I was woken by the sound of a helicopter traveling down the beach. Startled I tried to dig myself deeper into the dune, pulling Marram grass across myself to try and hide...grateful Id picked a lighter shade of apparel rather than the darker, suit type I used when on business. I waited, my heart pounding in my chest, my head pounding to the same rhythm.

The helicopter approached, then past. I saw it was yellow, an air/sea rescue one, and wasn't in a search pattern but heading to a direct goal somewhere in the distance.

I breathed again. And then I realised I was wet. During the night the clouds had deposited there payload. A fine drizzling mist still hung in the air. I was wet, miserable, hungry, thirsty but, most importantly, alive. I tried to move. Every muscle in my body screamed at me, joints audibly clicked and popped, at least I hoped it was the joints, the healing spells were amateur at best, it wasn't my strong area. Standing up took nearly five minutes, while I checked each bit of me to see the damage. Even in the normal world I was a mass of bruises and scratches, but fortunately none of them obviously visible, still, a disguising spell was going to be the order of the day...the old 'glam' from the fairy tales had many uses, but mainly just to make yourself look respectable.

I waved as gentle a cover over myself as I could, even if I only made my clothes look clean it would do, and started to walk inland. My logic was that a road or some form of signs as to where I had landed would be away from the beach. The sand had gotten inside my clothes and was irritating me badly, I never did understand why people liked sunbathing, with all that grit just waiting to abraid your flesh as soon as you moved. By the time I did reach a road, I was seriously thirsty, the alcohol had dehydrated me, plus any internal blood loss before I kicked in the healing spells. But I was lucky. A very short way down from the point I had emerged onto the road was a small car park, with a Public convenience in the corner. It was one of the automated types, needing a coin to access, a simple spell took care of that. I virtually fell through the door and locked it behind me.

The tap was triggered by an infra red beam being broken as you stick your hands under it to wash them. I turned the setting to cold and stuck my whole head under, the spray of cool, clear water was like the finest wine. I drank greedily until I felt sick, and threw up a good proportion of it back down the sink. Too fast...mustn't drink too fast.

I washed and cleaned up as best as I could, used the toilet and turned to the mirror to straighten my hair. I don't know what made me enter the first level at that precise second, maybe it was my body trying to tell me something, but I let out a cry.

The thing staring back at me wasn't me. At least it didn't look like me, although I knew it was. Sallow faced, the eyes shrunken and, most disturbingly, all white. They reminded me of what Kostyas' eyes looked like in the twilight, vampire eyes. I also looked to be about 30 pounds lighter, and the gashes on my chest were visible even through my shirt. It dawned on me, the more I used the dark magic, the more I changed. Is this what Gesar had meant by changing me back in seven days? Not that Id actually die, like Sveta thought, but be unable to transform back from what I was becoming?

A single tear rolled down my cheek, maybe Sveta was right though, if I did change it would be like a death....a living one.

The only way back was forward.

I unlocked the door, feeling a little better, and headed back across the car park and onto the road.

There were only a few scattered houses nearby, but, in the distance to my left, there seemed to be a large town. That was where I had to go. So I went....


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

By the time I reached the outskirts of the town I was feeling a bit light-headed. I could smell food from the vending stalls along the sea-front, definitely a seaside town and hopefully the one I want, although if Id got it right first time id have been amazed.

Stopping to allow a wave of light-headed nausea pause I watched two kids playing on a slot machine. A seed of an idea formed and I waiting until they left. Walking over to the machine I studied it carefully, a basic design similar to the ones in Moscow. Looking around to see if anyone was looking I 'averted' passing eyes with a simple misdirectional spell so they wouldn't see suddenly disappear...and entered the twilight.

As I thought, the machine had been here sometime, it was visible. I felt more than saw the electronic impulses that set the randomization of the payouts, and tried to manipulate them. It was harder than I thought and even here I felt beads of sweat trickle off my brow. By the time I have the machine ready to pay out I was positively shaking. Coming up out of the twilight I touched the machine with the trigger spell and out fell a small shower of coins...not too much, a big payout might be noticed, but enough to at least to buy something to eat and a drink.

10 minutes later I was wolfing down a hot-dog and a coke. I didn't even care if it was real dog...I couldn't tell what meat it was suppose to be, but it was filling, and relieved the empty sick feeling in my stomach. I wouldn't mind, it was only 24 hours since I'd last eaten but it felt like a week. But then accelerated healing had to draw energy from somewhere and a ravenous hunger was a normal side effect, especially the amount of healing I'd needed, and was still finalizing on the inside.

I arrived at what looked like a very large fun-fair, although the screams coming from the biggest roller-coaster I had ever seen in my life didn't sound like that much fun. Slipping unseen into the twilight I past the turnstiles and studied the scene.

The amount of emotional energy released here was enormous! The blue moss was a thick, almost impenetrable mass around the rides, with milling paths carved between by endless passing's of humans. It was a veritable banquet for both Light and Dark others, a complex mingling of joy and fear. Here by the Ghost Train...delicious scares. By the cafe....happy contentment and lovers trysts.

I allowed some of the darker energies trickle into me to help the healing process, the leg only ached now and the cracked ribs had ebbed to a slight throb, the rest I couldn't feel any more. It concerned me slightly that when I opened up to absorb energy it WAS the dark that entered me, the skin crawling sensation forever present, but it was so easy to do. That thought dragged me back to reality...the dark way was always the easy way...something I'd always shunned until now, and I didn't like how rapidly I was willing to use it now.

I instantly shut off the flow, the aches were there to remind me of the situation, it wasn't my place to hide them, but I also had a feeling that the more dark I allowed in, the more light would pour out of the invisible gashes in my chest. It was a depressing thought.

But I knew I'd have to use it at least a few more times today, the trick with the gambling machine had shown me one possibility to make my mission easier, there's that 'e' word again

By the late afternoon, and shielding extremely carefully in case any Others were around in the crowded fair, I had a good amount of cash to be going on with, and a migraine to match. No wonder there were no Others made rich this way, not even Dark ones would do this..there were simpler methods but this was the only untraceable one available to me at the moment. I felt like shit, my whole body like fire with an underlying fever. Id pushed myself close to burnout today, even feeding on the emotions of the fair, and I had to a number of times when Id come close to collapse.

But at least I was done....now I needed sleep...just to stay on my feet a little longer to find a hotel. I just hope I could find one with a room, I don't think I had anything left to 'persuade' someone that they had. I left the fair via a back gate which, suddenly, became unlocked. Damn I was getting into the Dark habits too comfortably. Wandering down a side street I found a small guesthouse, it looked a bit run down and dilapidated so I hoped it needed an extra guest and wouldn't be fully booked. Id stayed in worse, lived in worse even, and in my state I wouldn't even notice if it had 10 foot cockroaches running up the walls. A basic warding spell would keep anything away anyhow.

I was pleasantly surprised then when I entered the foyer that inside it was bright, clean and tastefully decorated, with sumptuous looking settees lining one wall and piped, relaxing music drifting across the air...a total contrast to the exterior! I don't think Id have been more surprised if someone walked up to me and told me Gesar and Zabulon were getting married....well maybe not, but it was close to it.

The hairs on the back of my neck rose...something wasn't quite right....I think it was the appearance of the receptionist behind the counter that did it...she was a Dark Other! I tried to throw up a shield and made the mistake of attempting to construct a Light one, the pain in my head exploded, and I spiraled down into darkness...that was becoming something of a habit as well lately....

----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"How the hell did I end up like this!?" I wheezed. My head felt like pure fire and my skin still crawled with the feet of a million insects. The rain battered against the window outside, at least it was a change to the drizzle. Conscious thoughts were slow to arrive though. It had taken me ages just to realize I wasn't at the bottom of a ditch somewhere, but in a soft, warm bed, in a small, but adequate guest room. But as to how I got here I had no idea, and why I was still alive, equally so.

Raising my head, I saw my clothes neatly folded and placed on a chair by the foot of the bed. I looked under the covers....naked...oh well. Just raising my head made me feel ill.

I lay back down, nothing I could do yet without puking up the hot dogs I'd eaten earlier. Then it occurred to me, how earlier? How much time had I lost lying here. I looked briefly through the twilight at my chest, the claw marks were still there, but didn't seem any worse, so I hadn't been there long. I returned, my bare body still showed some of the bruising where Id employed the healing, not more than an hour or two then.

Something was irritating my subconscious, something I was forgetting, something important.

I scratched my thigh absentmindedly...and tried a smile. I hope it was a woman who undressed me, it would be a bit embarrassing if it were a man... undressed...naked...

I shot up out of bed. "Shit!" I shouted, scrabbling to get dressed. The aura suppressor, I didn't have it on me, anyone could read me if they were high enough, and there was a Dark one in the building!

Once dressed I checked my shirt, the suppressor, the size of a pin, was still concealed in the pocket lining. It didn't make me feel any better though. Id been lying here exposed, and I didn't mean undressed, for a few hours....more than enough time to be traced.

But then, why was I so scared of being found? Id committed no crime against the treaty, nor was I on a secret mission, both of the heads knew what I was planning, no, told, to do, I was just doing it my own way. Buy if that was the case, why was I being watched on the plane, and why a Dark one here, and why did I chose to walk into this very building, out of the thousands in the town. At the moment staying hidden was an instinctive thing...I've learned to listen to my instincts.

I was just sitting on the bed, wondering what to do next when there was a knock at the door. I stiffened and found myself readying a shielding spell, and trying to recall as much battle magic as I could, only to remember the magic I knew was mainly light, and useless to me now.

"Come in" I said, as neutral as possible.

The door opened and in walked the dark other Id seen earlier. "Ah your awake, thought you might be when your aura disappeared. I said you'd portalled out, but Robert said you'd just got dressed"

She pointed at my shirt pocket "Oh its OK, we know about that, but its no concern of ours. What is of concern is making sure your OK. We had our healer check you over, your pretty battered up...and I'm sure you already know about the other thing...." Tact seemed to be difficult for her, but then it was for most Dark others. "If you feel up to it, there's a meal ready downstairs, and I'm afraid a few questions to. And as for being 'found'...this whole building is shielded, in fact I'm surprised you even saw the place, your the first one to stumble into this place in years."

She turned and walked away, assuming I would follow her

"Wait"..I called to her back, "...is this the Dark HQ, do I have to register to stay in this town?"

She turned to me with an amused grin. "Silly boy...now, get you food before all the greedy pigs in here eat the lot". And she left. I rose, shakily, and followed...well what else could I do?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The dining room was almost full, although this wasn't saying a lot, there was only about six or seven tables in there in total. To a normal observer, it seemed a typical holiday scene, happy guests shovelling down mountains of simple but well made food, chatting merrily about the days exploits. One quick glimpse through the twilight told an entirely different story, the room was filled with others, from both sides! One table had two young male Light Others flirting..flirting!...with an equally young Dark witch. Further over a venerable old gent, Dark, was sharing an anecdote with another younger Light Other, who seemed to be hanging on to every word the old gent said.

The Dark receptionist motioned me over to a table in the corner where a normal looking man was sat, in rolled up shirt-sleeves, at his ease, smoking a pipe. There was one other chair at the table and, still feeling none too steady, I sat down on it.

Nothing was said, he just continued to smoke his pipe, until the silence compelled me to say something.

"Hello." It wasn't much but it was a start.

The man looked at me with his deep brown eyes and saw in them the depth of ages. Here was probably the oldest Other alive today, in fact the oldest Other ever. And in that one tiny moment I was humbled, beyond anything Id ever felt before or since. Here was someone ancient before Gesar was even born, before even the battles of the Dark and Light had even happen, before possibly even the twilight itself...if such a thing were possible. The things this man must have seen! Have lived through!

I didn't say another word, in that glance had been conveyed more meaning than anything I could ever say.

He finished his pipe, tapping out the ashy contents onto a small tray and place the pipe down almost reverently. When he looked at me again I detected a small smile on his lips.

"Forgive me" he said, his voice mid ranged but so harmoniously complex it sounded almost like music. "....but that particular tobacco is impossible to obtain now and I really think it was the best the world ever made. Alas I have little left of it, so you can understand why I did not want to waste it."

I couldn't place his accent, not to anywhere in the world that I knew of, and that deepened my interest further. I began to relax, I didn't know why but somehow I knew that, while in this mans presence, I was currently safe.

His smile broadened. "Your wondering about me, about this place....no, I do not read minds, your just not the first to sit there and think the same thoughts. But we know about you Anton Gorodetsky"

I made to bolt from the table but he continued, "...no, no, stay, you are safe here". He gestured around the room, "All are safe here, this is neutral ground by my command. You of all people must know that there is little difference between light and dark, you're all still just people, born of woman, sired by man. Not everyone wants to be fighting an endless battle against an identical foe, some just want to be at peace."

I felt his words sinking into me like some form of enchantment, but I detected no magic, then it hit me..no magic! This strange individual was either an ultra higher, zero point, or, even more amazingly.....human....but no human lives as long as his deep gaze betrayed.

He must have seen my confusion and he threw his head back with a great, hearty laugh, loud and exuberant, the sound of someone who enjoyed life. The whole room stopped to watch him and all had smiles and knowing nods.

"Oh Anton, I'm so sorry, I've been a terrible host. Let me introduce myself, my name is Robert and I am the...owner, if you like...of this fine establishment. I would introduce you to my current guests but most come here under assumed names, there is still a lot of animosity out there between Light and Dark to make this place truly neutral without a little mystery to help things along..." And he winked..."I know them all of course, as it should be, but then they know that I would never tell".

More nods.....so this man was well respected then, human or not, and I could tell he wasn't really human, so what was he?

"The twilight.." he said, and I almost jumped, I hadn't expected a sudden tangent in the conversation, "...creates Others like yourself. But it wasn't always so. There was a time, before the first Others evolved, that the twilight didn't even exist, not as it does today. Oh it was there, but it had no form, no substance. No light, no dark, good and evil were unknown to it, even life, or that should be afterlife, didn't pass through it on the way to the great journey. Then the Others came, and slowly over time it learned the differences between light and dark, life and death. It began to carve any Others that entered it into the mind image it could feel from the individuals emotions, and thus were the factions born. It craved those factions to give it contrast and interest in its 'life'...although its not a living thing as such. Unfortunately factions invariably mean wars, and the lives of the Others it took in only fueled it to keep the opposing sides, well, opposing. Ah for the simplicities of its younger days."

Robert leaned back in his chair. "I'm telling you this now as you have little time to delay here, and some of this may be of relevance to you."

After a moments pondering I said to him "Are you Light or Dark, I cant read your aura and....."

Robert laughed again. "Anton, here it doesn't matter, yes I am an Other and if it would make you feel better by all means try to read my aura, but I don't think you'll understand it." Then his smile turned to a frown. "Although out of many people you may come closest without it being explained to you".

So I tried, it wasn't easy, there were eddies and swirls of energy now that he'd obviously kept hidden before. And yes, I was confused, there were the ancient signatures I expected from him, I guessed he was much older than most Others correctly, but none of them matched to what I knew, not one.

Normally I would have given up but I was intrigued to the point of obsession.

Then it dawned on me. "Oh by the light, Dark, everything......your a neutral, a true neutral!"

"Well done boy! Your the first to ever do that without some help."

"But sir!.." I couldn't call him anything less, he was thousands of years old, an 'old wives tale' even amongst the Others. "To be neutral means you had to be one of the early Others, before the twilight learned to divide us.

Robert lean forward with his lips almost touching my ear and whispered "Not just early, I was the first......."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The bus was less than desirable, someones design idea to use gray, almost black, carpet on the walls and ceiling of the vehicle, while leaving the floor covered in dirty rubber was obviously done while they were having a bad day.

The past 24 hours were still somewhat of a blur, so much to think about, so much to consider. I'd stayed at that strange place for a day, recuperating and learning, at first I thought it would be a waste of time, but I received info that would shorten this whole thing, I hoped.

Gesar's information on Egor's last known whereabouts had been wrong, by months apparently....Robert knew where he was, or at least had been just a few days before I arrived.

Robert seemed to know everything about every Other for miles around....I found out there were no watches in the town, it was all considered neutral ground, the same as Robert himself.

He was an enigma beyond my comprehension. His knowledge was vast, and yet he seemed so naive about so many things. He also knew an uncomfortable amount about me.

The bus was idling at yet another set of road works with temporary traffic lights refusing to change. My mind decided to idle as well, going over the little I could remember, grasping it was like trying to hold on to wet jelly, there was some substance there but it was ephemeral and slippery. I knew it was some sort of spell designed to hide him, but I still couldn't understand why. Some stayed in there though, and I knew it was the stuff that Robert allowed me, even wanted me, to remember.....

"Anton, you see before you the reason you are who you are....and I'm sorry".

I didn't understand him and I told him so. He sighed and seemed to be genuinely troubled by something. He paced back and forth past the little table a few times then turned to me.

"Can you please raise a silence shield, I wish to talk in private to you."

"Cant you do it yourself?"

"At the moment, no.....its part of what I want to discuss"

Intrigued I raised the shield, I knew I was probably the highest Other in the room, but I made it to the strongest level there was...sound shields are simple, and simple to get through if not done properly. I nodded to Robert when it was done, no one in the room seemed to notice, or, more likely, care.

"So, to begin. Your the first person I've told this to for generations, in fact maybe ever." He ran his fingers over the table top in swirling motions, lost in thought for a few minutes. For a moment I thought the shield was wasted but then he spoke. "Back when I was a young man there was no twilight. Others existed, we were mainly shaman and the like. I was training to be a seeker caller, that's someone who used there mind to look for herds to hunt. Certain substances of plant origin, extinct now, were used to help induce the trance-state needed to fly from our bodies and look for the animals. But all of us were limited, we could only go so far, including myself, and I was considered one of the best."

"One year there was a famine, the rains never came so there was no food to gather, no grass growing, our normally hunted animals were starved and lean. But we had always laid aside extra as sometimes it happened. But a 2nd year of no rains became serious, the food reserves ran out and the shaman were pressured into finding a solution. But there was nothing we could do, we couldn't control nature. Then came a 3rd year..."

Those ancient eyes of his clouded. "Her name was Teal, she was my wife, expecting our child during the 3rd year of the famine. By the time our baby was born, a son, she was drained, her body was shutting down from starvation. She died 4 days later. There wasn't a woman for miles around who could wet nurse him, he clung on for another 6 days. I didn't even have any water to give him at the end.....I couldn't let him die in such pain....."

A single tear rolled down his face. "Even after all these years it still hurts. I killed him. The next day, it rained."

I thought of Nadya and shuddered but said nothing. He continued.

"I lost my mind, I ran off across the drought-ridden plains and into a valley where, in a small hollow, I saw the last of the mind expanding plants in the world clinging to life, its dried and shriveled berries still on the branches."

He looked directly at me. "Two berries gave the trance state, three deep sleep, four death. I ate them all, the ones on the branch, twenty or more. I remember shouting to the hammering rain the names of all my people who had died, the last ones were my wife and son, as I felt the darkness cloud my eyes and death take me. At my feet I saw my shadow for an instant, illuminated by a flash of lightning, and I reached out to it, begged it to take me to the beyond."

"It was gray when I opened my eyes, no colour, no form, mist seemed to drift past me and round me and through me. I felt nothing, no pain, no fear, no emotion at all. I didn't expect to, I was dead. But I didn't feel dead, and neither did the mist. It caressed me in its 'arms' and talked to me, in my mind. I felt it was curious, as I was about it, so using my shaman training I called to it, and seeked an answer. I sensed loneliness, as deep as the loneliness Id felt when I ate the berries. I think it was pity that lead me to do what I did next. I opened my mind to it. It saw everything, my life, my love, my pain. It saw people, hundreds of people, most beyond its reach but some like myself, more minds to read, more lives to lead in proxy. I was drawn down, deeper and deeper through itself. The further in I went the more of my life was peeled away, studied, absorbed. And the more I gave. Memories became vivid, elder legends became visualised. I assume you have been to what they call the 5th level...the world with 2 moons. That was where my peoples creation legend became real. Eventually I had nothing left to give...and I was truly dying. Then something strange happened. I felt life flowing back into me. Not from the mist, but outside, away, far away."

"Then I was being pushed, out, back through the mist, like a rebirth, and emerged into a torrent of flood water rushing down the valley. Id been carried downstream, many, many miles from where I had started. I don't know how long Id been travelling for but everywhere around me was different. It seemed different, changed, in a subtle way as well, I realised I could see colours coming out of every living thing, trees with deep roots that had survived the drought, insects buzzing above the water, everything."

"Eventually I drifted into some brambles at the side of the water flow and dragged myself through the newly forming mud. I wandered for days after that, following the small river it had become. I moved automatically, I had no memory of who I was, where I was, anything. My mind had shut down, all I was aware of was the colours around me and the memory of the soft, grey mist."

"I must have wandered into another village far from my own, they had faired better during the drought and were still alive to witness the return of the plains. They took me in and nursed me until my mind healed itself. I stayed for many moons. I saw there...auras...as its called now, I didn't know it then but they were all humans, normal, even there shaman was just a knowledgeable old gentleman with a skill for healing. He was the one who helped my mind to heal, and, when the memories returned, to accept and embrace the grief."

"I never attempted to go back to the mist, to the strange place that had saved me, for a long time. It was when another Other was born. I helped the old shaman at the birth, arthritis was beginning to cripple his hands by that time. I knew immediately that this child was different, compared to the rest of the people I lived with. The aura sparkled, and swirled like the mist I hadn't thought of for a long time. I mentioned to the shaman that I thought that this child would be different in some way. He nodded slowly and said 'I have foreseen this in the stars my son, this child will be this villages next shaman. You will train him, and then move on, and I will soon die.' Two weeks later the shaman had passed beyond."

"When the baby grew up and reached boyhood, I began to train him in the arts of the shaman. He learned quickly. But I knew there was something I had to do, something I had been avoiding and yet I felt an increasing need to try. And I had to take Samat, the boy-man I was training, with me. His aura was increasing beginning to look like mine and yet there was still something missing, I thought I knew what it was."

"The day I returned to the twilight I took Samat with me. It had changed. In my time away it had grown, developed, deepened, but it wanted more. In return it gave more. We could see clearer through subterfuge, move faster, pass through objects. In return it wanted to read our minds, study us, absorb our thoughts and feelings. We learned from each other."

"That summer I decided to leave....there was nothing more I could teach Samat, his aura was now like mine, and he could enter the Shadowmist, as we then called it, at will. And he did, many times, using it freely. I was proud of him, he was a fine Shaman and like a son to me. I was still reluctant to enter though, something didn't feel quite right. Maybe it was because I was the first and it was moulded to my thoughts, or maybe I could sense what was to come. Also remaining in the village had become...difficult. I no longer aged as they did, I should have been in my middle years by that time but I still looked like a young man. Whispers of evil spirits were muttered behind my back, I would not normally of heard them but with my heightened senses I had no choice.....and I had to listen without reacting, or they would think it was more evil magic."

"I slipped away under the cover of night, I could have used the Shadowmist, but I was still reluctant to. I know now that then it was because each time I entered it reminded me of the first, and the pain of losing my family, later it was something much, much different. So I traveled on foot, across whole continents. staying at different places on the way. Some times just for a few days, sometimes for years. "

"Language never seemed to be a problem, the same as it is for all Others today Anton, and sometimes I would find people like myself. Those I had the compulsion to introduce to the Shadowmist, to free them....it seemed like that at the time. Each one I entered with gave a little more to the Shadowmist in return for the ability to use it. I never entered alone though, not for millenia. Eventually I had traveled the whole world....over 2000 years had passed. I thought I was immortal, until I realized I could die in an accident or choice like anyone else, or what was waiting for me if I did."

"It was in Hawaii when it happened. I was staying with the indigenous natives, long before today's people arrived there from Polynesia. The main volcano erupted, as it did regularly, but this time a toxic cloud drifted across the islands. It was choking everyone to death, including me. I think I went into the Shadowmist as a reflex action, a grasp at survival. But for some reason the toxins followed. Deeper and deeper I fled, until I reached the lowest level. "

"You have been there Anton, I know it, I can see it in your eyes. Few have been that far, and yet to me it was almost as familiar as my old home, my lands of my childhood. But it wasn't quite right, the grass wasn't quite green enough, the sky not the right shade of blue. It had changed. Then I saw them. Others, Others who had died and been brought there, brought by the Shadowmist."

"There had been many born and died whilst on my travels and they were here. All of them, the Shadowmist had read them all and couldn't bear to let them go after death. They came forward, hundreds of them, and touched me. Their fingers were like daggers of ice, sucking the lifeforce out of me, begging, pleading to be released. I didn't know what to do, I didn't understand, I fought to get away....and then I saw Samat....his pointed at me and said 'I curse you, I curse you to remain out of this place you created with your mind, never will you know its sweet caress, never will you know its waiting arms. You left me to die in the village when you slipped away at night, they thought it was evil magic, and killed me as a familiar because they couldn't get you. I've been here since, unable to go beyond, unable to be reborn, so as long as I am trapped here I deny you the shadowmist as well!'"

"I felt myself pushed out, up and up through the levels. By the time I reach our world the toxic cloud had gone. I wept...everyone was dead, and I was denied access to the one place I could end my days. To die for me after that day would mean to remain in limbo, a ghost, not even able to stay in the Shadowmist, never to be reborn. I didn't know there was no way out, there must have been no way out of the pain in my mind at the time it was read, so yes I caused there suffering. Nor did I realize until much later that Samat had actually saved me the only way he could. The ethereal Others there would have drained my life in an attempt to escape the lowest level, the only way Samat could save me was to curse me out of the Shadow completely. And so in being saved I was forever lost."

I was amazed at Roberts story. "When did the Shadowmist change to become the Twilight then? To no longer make neutrals but forever divide us into Light and Dark?"

"Many years later, I cant remember exactly when. I was working in a forest as a wood collector when I felt it happen. I think I felt its presence all the time, I still do. But it was then when it changed. Its hard to explain, it wasn't a sudden thing it was gradual. As Others entered their mood affected the Shadowmist. Strong emotions were 'indigestible' to it, so if anyone entered angry, it would absorb the lighter emotions, the ones not being used. The reverse was also true. Eventually the first true Light and Dark Others began to emerge. The first one was Dark, and I felt him reborn as an Other. Moments later a Light emerged, and I knew it had begun."

"Begun?" I was baffled. "But what about the vampires, the shape-shifters, the ones normally dark by nature?"

"They never get very powerful though do they? Even the highest vampire is normally no match for you Anton. The same was true of there emotions, the Shadowmist could always read both sides of them, but so weak were there emotional differences that it didn't trigger the change. No, the first two to trigger it were powerful others...very powerful. One for them you know....."

"Merlin", I replied "...I always thought he was older than was claimed....he was a zero-point mage though, who was the other?"

"You wouldn't know him, he went by the name of Kardos. But what was intriguing is that they both entered at the same time, and triggered the Light/Dark split."

"For what reason?"

"I think they were told to"

"Who by?!"

"The Shadowmist/twilight itself."

"Why....." my voice trailed off as Robert leaned forward.

"Culling. Imagine thousands of Others being born, living thousands of years, overrunning there 'food' source, there power, too many others draining the world. Then imagine the ones that died being reborn, even more others. The twilight was trying to save us, and to do so it had to get us to cull ourselves."

"The wars....but then Merlin's release spell......"

"......has tipped the balance. And you triggered it Anton. I don't blame you, you had no choice, but the twilight is now trying to call Others back to it. And believe me, more will be born, many more than usual. Oh it will take many, many centuries before its noticed by the human population, but it will be, and then what? They will react like the village did to Samat."

"No Robert, give the world more credit than that, there not the savages back from the dawn of time. Its grown up, come of age."

"Has it?" He cast his eyes around the room. "Each of the others in this room are here because of persecution. They have retreated from the world for a time to heal emotional wounds and physical scars. No Anton, it will come. But it can be stopped."

"How?"

"Either the long and bloody wars that have always happened in the past, but these would carry on for years, no inquisition could intervene, or.....destroy the twilight, so there are no more others."

The shock clearly showed on my face. A world without the twilight, without Others. But then hadn't I thought exactly the same thing in the past? And what about Nadya, currently the only zero point in the world. Was she condemned to a life of battles or to a life as a shade of her former self, always knowing what could have been.

But a different question sprang to mind. "Why did you ask me to raise the sound shield, surely you could do that yourself?"

"I could, but I cant recharge from human emotion in the way Others do today. All my power comes from my own lifeforce and that is severely depleted these days".

He slumped back down on his chair. "I have lived too long, but not for much longer. When you released all the spirits of the Others so they could go beyond, Samat left to, and the curse was broken. I can theoretically enter the twilight now, except if I do, I will never leave. So when I enter I taking something with me. I've found a way to destroy the twilight. What I brought into being I will take out again....the same as my own son."

He wouldn't answer anymore questions about it, even though I tried, or did he, even the memory of this part of the conversation was beginning to fade as the journey continued. By the time I reached my destination all I could remember was a phase rolling in my mind, again and again.

"All is not what it seems, and what it seems is not all......"


	6. Chapter 6

PLEASE NOTE, SOME GRAPHIC VIOLENCE/SEX IN THIS CHAPTER.

Chapter 6

The short walk from the bus emptied my mind. I found myself toying rhythmically with the little aura suppressor Id moved into my jacket pocket, in time to my steady footsteps. Ahead of me lay what I was looking for, I hoped. Four blocks of high-rised flats, the only ones in the whole town, an instant landmark, and yet another good design idea, lets paint the outside of them with a stripe of colour. The one I apparently wanted was suppose to be pink. There were 2 with a pinkish stripe though, a light and a darker one, appropriate I thought ; one blue and one that looked like it had been built earlier, uncoloured. Smart idea to leave it, nothing was going to make these look user-friendly.

But 2 pink ones posed a minor problem, which one? I could simply try the flat number in both blocks to see which one it was. I could chance a quick look through the twilight but I wouldn't see much, Egor wasn't initiated yet so not really trackable, but I decided to try anyways.

I got a surprise....the lighter shaded block has clear residues of Others coming and going quite regularly. As little as a day ago. So there was at least one initiated Other visiting the block, but they could be just living there. It was a start anyhow.

I fingered the suppressor one more time as I crossed the street.

The entrance to the block was covered in graffiti, tags from all the local gangs seemed to be crammed onto the doors alone. The hall just behind faired little better, poor illumination, more graffiti and a faint smell of urine. Ahead were lifts, I hoped these damned elevators worked, the address Id been given was almost at the top floor.

The button was missing. To call the elevator I had to stick my finger into the hole where it had been to reach the connection, not a good start. A faint whining noise announced its arrival. When the doors opened the faint whiff of urine grew stronger. I was really reluctant to travel in this thing, but I was still feeling groggy, was that getting worse?

The lift itself, despite its odorous arrival was less eventful than I expected. I reached the floor I wanted incident free, a little concern when the doors didn't slide open as soon as I arrived.

There were four flats on each floor. Up here looked better, no graffiti, no smell, and the view from a small window at the end of the short elevator was pretty spectacular, the town fanned out below, green fields beyond in the distance. I assumed if the window was on the other side Id also get a great view of the sea.

'Floor 12 Flat 3.....so I'm here, but how do I go about this?' I thought. I couldn't exactly knock on the door and ask if Egor was there, especially if he was, he would want to know why I wanted him and he was still suspicious after Edinburgh. All I could remember was this was the last place that Robert knew he had been, this was supposedly his girlfriends place; I only had a first name, Elsa, but it was more than I had when I arrived in my 'unusual' way.

I stood there for a few minutes, indecisive, fingering the suppressor. The hairs on the back of my neck began to rise, and the suppressor began to heat up, but I passed it off as it absorbing heat from my hand. I was a bit light headed, Ha! What an analagory at the moment, the last thing I was, was light.

I was sweating when I knocked at the door, my heart had started pounding. I looked down to find I had the suppressor gripped tightly in my hand, it was positively burning me now, but I couldn't let go.

The door open. In front of me stood a young woman, nothing spectacular, average height, average build, average looks....why then did I suddenly get a raging and uncomfortable erection? The sweating suddenly chilled on my body, flashes of images screamed across my mind while I froze to the spot.

She looked at me, and must have sensed something but misinterpreted it. "Did Egor send you, did he send a message for me?"

Trigger word.....message, Id been implanted with a trigger word, spoke by this person I had never met. The suppressor cut into my hand deeply as I clenched it tightly. The flashing visions coalesce into a command. Attack... take the woman.. use her.. rape... kill...kill. I couldn't move, while in my mind the visions continued, grabbing her, ripping off her clothes, thrusting in, faster and faster, the the slow strangulation while copulating, the look of horror on her face before the death glaze clouded her eyes, defiling her dead body more....dark, dark everywhere.

I knew it was going to happen, had to happen, but somehow I managed to hiss through my teeth "Go in, close the door ... NOW!!!"

She slammed it shut, I heard the lock latch into place. In my mind I was tearing down the door, grabbing her, ripping her open, disemboweling....a thousand forms of death. I felt a spell rising up in me to blast out the door, damn it was strong enough to take out the entire wall, I couldn't stop it, I didn't want to stop it. I was about to release it when a wave of white light washed over me, blinding me, stimulating but soothing me. I ejaculated into my pants I'm sorry to say, but in doing so I lost the urge to kill, the trigger had been set into a sex act, the act of coitus ended it. As I collapsed to the floor a cool breeze seemed to gently was over me, and visions of my family flooded my mind, easing the pain, dispelling the thoughts, pushing out the darkness.

A voice seemed to whisper in my ear. "Throw the suppressor away.....throw it away Daddy, its going to kill you, it will try again. Its bad, Daddy, throw it away."

I couldn't throw it, I couldn't even let go of it despite the blood trickling down my wrist

"Break it Daddy, break it, I'll help you". And then love, pure, indescribable love, surrounded me. Slowly I raised my hand that held the suppressor. I tried to squeeze it in the middle, to snap it, but it was harder than steel.

"I cant" I whispered "I cant do it."

"Here....." and I swear I felt my daughters breath blow across my clenched fist. The suppressor weaken, I could feel it soften and with all my strength I snapped it in to.

The wind that suddenly howled around me was like a vortex it felt as big as the one Sveta had when we first met. It screeched and tore at me, tore at my mind, but it no longer had any control over me. Almost like a living thing it battered at my chest as though aware of the claw marks there, as though it was trying to get in, but the love held like a shield, thwarting its every attempt. With one last gigantic effort it shattered and dispelled through the ceiling, up and out, I could almost see it rise and dissipate. As it disappeared, so did the shroud of love, leaving me alone, desolate...I suddenly realized what it felt to be truly dark. I slumped in a heap on the floor, back to the wall, and cried like I had never cried before....

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know how long I was sat there for before i heard the 'snick' of a lock being released and the gentle sigh of a door being opened. I reached into my pocket automatically for the suppressor before remembering it was gone, and why. But I still felt strangely exposed and vulnerable. I looked up.....it was Essa, peeping out of a small crack in the door. She was brave, Id give her that much, if that was me, Id have barricaded myself in and phoned the police if someone the state I was in came knocking at the door. The I remembered, I still had the glam in place, she wouldn't have seen a thing. I'm assuming then that shutting and locking the door was second nature round here at the slightest sign of trouble, it certainly looked the type of area.

"You OK?" she said, in a soft voice, a hint of Ukrainian in the accent. "You said close the door, then I heard a lot of noise and then you were crying. Did you get mugged? Did they do you over?"

I didn't inquire as to who the "they" were.

"Its o..o..o....OK " I stammered. "They didn't get much." It was easier to let her believe I had been mugged. Less explanation.

"Want me to call the police?" she asked

"Would it do any good?"

"Not really" she sighed, "No CCTV on this floor, and they don't usually come back for months. So cant prove anything. Come in, you don't looked to badly hurt, a good cup of coffee will set you on your way."

I knew the glam was working then, I looked like shit, and felt worse.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "I mean about a stranger in your home?"

She leaned her head to one side and said "Normally no, but you remind me of Egor, that's why I wondered if you had a message from him."

I winced for a second at the trigger word, but the compulsion was gone, snapped like the suppressor.

But a message from him, that didn't sound good, it sounded like he was gone, but I had to find out how long ago and where.

I began to stand up, and wobbled. Essa came out to me and helped me to my feet. "Thank you" I said weakly. "I'm a bit shook up more than I though."

"Here let me help you", and taking my arm like I was some elderly gentleman, she led me into the flat.

It was an ordinary apartment, basically furnished with a lived in feel, the way I liked them. I stood there for a moment, acutely aware of the semen beginning to trickle down my thigh and grateful that the glam had been a good, if subtle, one. She led me to a huge armchair and sat me down. I sank into it, it seemed to mould itself to every contour...a good chair. Essa went into her kitchen and soon I could hear a coffee machine working, not cheap instant then.....cow sludge would have done me at that moment in time though.

The cup of hot steaming coffee Essa brought me a few minutes later was far from cow sludge, it was strong, black and laced with sugar, just the way I liked it. She watched me down it in one, a little amazed I could swallow the almost boiling liquid. There was silence for a moment until she said "Egor liked his coffee that way to, although maybe not so hot".

Its funny how others, uninitiated or otherwise, love extra sweet coffee. I had no doubt now that the Egor she knew was the Egor I wanted.

A moment silence again and then she said "He isn't here, I know you don't have a message for me. Your looking for him to. I just hoped he had sent word....."

I deflated inside. "How long has he been gone?"

"Only a few days, but he didn't take his things with him, no word, nothing." Then she eyed me suspiciously. "You arnt the reason he left are you? Look if hes in some kind of trouble I'm not helping you..."

I couldn't lie to her, not after what Id just experienced, my soul was open and laid bare and every lie would push me further to the dark, but I couldn't tell her the truth either, she wouldn't believe it.

"No" I sighed"...at least I don't think so....when did he leave?"

"Nearly a week ago".

"I only arrived four days ago, so I don't think so know. But I do need to find him. I'm not here to hurt him....I'm here to help him. "

And for a second I believed what I said, I believed that the Dark was his best way. And I knew lying, even with a bared soul, was just another Dark trait coming though. Id have winced again, but I was all out of self-pity at that moment.

"It doesn't matter, I know its not you." she continued. "Hes not been right for a while, not since he came back from Edinburgh"

"Oh?" Now I was interested again.

"Yes, he was restless when he came back. I thought he'd found someone else while away, but he settled down after a few weeks. But about a month ago he started going out again, he always seemed agitated when he returned. I tried asking him about it but he just kept saying I wouldn't understand. Then about a week ago he left as normal, then i got a garbled phone call about how he had to stay away and that he might get a message to me, that he loved me and he was sorry."

I twitched.....that sounded like he DID know I was coming and what I was suppose to do, but how?

She looked hopefully at me. "So I suppose no news is good news?"

I couldn't lie on this one.."Sorry I really don't know. "

Essa sighed again. "I know...its not as if we were married or anything.....not even 'really' together, but it would be nice to know...."

She was one brave girl, if that had been Sveta I'd have been tearing my hair out and shredding the twilight apart to look for her. Maybe it was a human thing, this hope. I was fast forgetting what it was like to be 'normal'...it had been a long time.

"I know where ever he is, hes fine." This wasn't a lie either. I knew, strangely, that it wasn't all over yet. "If I do find him I'll tell him your waiting for him."

She gave me a wan smile.

"Its time I was going." I put the cup down. "Thanks for the coffee it was what I just needed"

"You should be OK going back, they wont be around for months now."

I couldn't ignore it anymore. "Who are 'they'?"

Local yobs, probably, Egor use to deal with them if he was here when they came round. Its why this floor looks better than the rest, they seems to listen to him. When hes not here I just hide. They leave me alone."

Something niggled me at the back of my brain with that. I said my goodbyes and left the flat. Before she closed the door Essa said one more thing. "I do know, you know."

I never found out what she meant, but I thought I could guess. But as I made my way to the lift I felt unseen eyes watching me leave.......


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

I was just leaving the lift as three men, boys really, came in through the entrance into the foyer chatting and swearing loudly. They froze when they saw me, the biggest of them taking a step forward. I didn't need the twilight to tell they were Dark Others, the bigger one a level 2, the others level 4 each. Singularly I could handle them easy, but if they combined in my weaken state Id be hard pressed. Then I realized I hadn't got the suppressor anymore, but they were also too weak to see the nature of my aura. Attack was the best defense as the bigger one began to smile, a malevolent, sickening grin that told of a past best left unmentioned. I quickly created a restraining spell and flung it at him. His face was a picture as he saw it being made and realization dawned, by which time it was too late, I had him suspended two feet in the air.

His two friends were quicker witted than him. They rapidly held up there hands in appeasement and called out "Sorry we didn't know, may we ask name and rank as tradition demands?"

I didn't take my eyes off the one I had suspended and I could see him looking at me through the twilight. I directed my answer to him with as much venom in my voice as I could muster...it was a hell of a lot...I even surprised myself.

"Anton Gorodetsky, Higher".

He visibly blanched and began to stammer a reply "Mark, level 2. I apologize I couldn't see you, I know why now. Please could you lower me down again?"

I saw him glance across at his colleagues who rallied and held hands. He was planning to link with them, but against one of there own? I needed answers and I needed them fast though, tact wasn't the order of the day.

"No". I began to tighten the grip on him, squeeze him, at first he tried to hide it, but soon he was gasping for air, his joints grinding, the pain must have been excruciating. I was enjoying it, I knew I shouldn't. "Tell them to release, no linking."

"Do it!" hissed Mark and his subordinates almost flung each other apart, looking like they didn't want to.

"Aw touching" sarcasm dripped from my every word. "Now then, answers. What are you doing here, on a regular basis, I know you are, your aura is all over the shit in this place. Speak NOW!"

My last word struck Mark like a fist, the truth compulsion Id buried in it hitting home. If others were going to try that on me it was time to fight back with the same tactics.

Credit where credits due, he fought against it for a minute, the sweat beading on his brow. I squeezed tighter. "Ok, ok, we were sent".

"Why?"

We work all these flats, keeping them crappy, keeping them in fear."

"And why's that?"

Mark looked at me with a sneer, even through the spells that were on him, he'll be a level one someday. "You have to ask...?"

"To feed"......I'm so dumb, even the two lessers were looking at me as if I were an idiot, and I was. I only just realized that it was the very power, generated by fear, that I was feeding on to power my grasp on Mark. And I had done it without though. I changed the subject quickly as though only confirming something. "Yes , yes, I know that, but why not floor 12?"

"We were asked not to....."

"By the guy at Flat 3?"

"Fuck no, the boss."

"And who's your boss?"

Mark was positively quivering now, I'm sure I heard a bone crack as I tightened the grip. He yelled and began to babble something in a tongue Id never heard before, nor could I understand it translated thought the twilight, but what I did see what another spell at work, sealing his mind to the truth spell. I began to probe deeper, drawing power off the two companions, they tried to protest but had no choice, light gives but dark takes and there were no watches in this town to answer to.

His yell turned into a high pitched keening, more cracks, something squished I'm sure of it. The two lackeys were prone on the floor, spasming like a severe epileptic fit, suddenly one stop, Id drained him completely, he was dead. I felt no remorse, these guys were killers, Id felt it, but then what did that make me?

Then I felt the block in Marks mind begin to slip, the babbling started again, and one word seemed to be repeated over and over. It sounded like Kardos or something. Something tickled the back of my brain, but I pushed it aside. The barrier had broken, the counter-spell gone....so had Marks mind. I released the restraining spell and let his lifeless body slump onto the floor. His surviving companion crawl over to him and patted his body.

"You fucker, you kill them....fuck, you nearly killed me."

"Stop your crying, you can soon heal feeding in a shithole like this."

"Bastard".

"That's Mr Bastard to you."

He sat up and ran his hand over Marks body, taking his wallet and wristwatch. "No point wasting them" he spat. Scumbag. But I didn't expect any better. But two bodies were a problem. I said so.

"Not round here it isn't." He drew a hypodermic out of his coat "Your going to have to do the heavy work though seeing as you fucked me over good".

He had me drag Marks body over to the lift, and injected the full needle into him. Then he messed with the lift button, the broken one, the lift jerked up so far and stopped, leaving a two foot gap at the bottom. I shoved the body in and heard it slam down to the bottom of the shaft. He then did the button trick again and the lift returned to its normal position. I was right when I said he was a murderer, it was all done with practiced ease.

"How long.....?" I said.

He smirked. "Never, so far, its never checked, it goes into the foundations of the flats. They will have to pull them down first to find him.

"But what about the smell?"

He held up the needle. "Dunno what it is but it stops it. Mark there gave us a batch years ago, bet he never expected to receive any, hahahahahaah". Almost Psychotic laugh.

"But what about the other guy?"

"Easy." I was told to drag him to the bottom of the stairs and the Scumbag pulled out another needle and injected the body. "Heroine, pure, he's just another OD now, they never check, not round here."

The ease of it was frightening, this was a trained killer despite what his outward appearance looked like; and this guy, I was sure now, was one of the 'They' Essa was so concerned about, and he'd spoken to Egor. Before I got chance to say anything though, he spoke.

"Your here for Egor."

I jumped. "I'm trying to find him, yes."

"Well he ain't here".

"Oh do tell" sarcasm "...I had noticed." I gripped the front of his shirt with my fist and hissed in his face. "I don't want to know where he isn't, I want to know where he is."

"Dunno, we wanted to know the same thing. Mark there.." pointed to the lift shaft, ".. said his boss wanted tabs keeping on him and no rough stuff, he said that floor 12 was off limits, wouldn't tell us why. Just said the ones living on 12 had to stay there for a reason. Never knew why."

The more I heard the more I had a sinking feeling. This hadn't started just 4 days ago, this had been planned months, even years, in advance. I was beginning to feel like was thrown in as a sudden change of plan, but I couldn't have been, the sheer number of artifacts collected to screw me up had taken years to collect. I couldn't believe anymore that a 6th level witch had seen all this happening in just a week, and then the watches getting all the items together, while over here a watch was in place on Egor up to a year ahead. Oh Anton, you fucking idiot! It was right in front of you from the start...this is all some elaborate plan, your a cog again, a useless, damaged cog. But I couldn't see any of the pieces fitting together......why the watch hadn't kept tabs on Egor themselves if they knew he was going to be needed....why me?

I looked at Scumbag, Id forever remember him as that now. He disgusted me. I weaved a simple amnesia spell to wipe all trace of me being here, there would be no resistance, Id drained him completely. I didn't tell him he probably never would recover, I'd come close to killing him to, I wished I had.

I think I made the spell too strong. As I walked out through the doors and back into the street he slumped to the floor, curled up into the fetal position and started sucking his thumb.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I walked back to the town center, completely drained and hollow. I stopped for a break in a little back street cafe, ordering a strong sweet coffee. This was the cow sludge I expected, but it was hot and sweet. I ordered a fry-up as well....one thing Others never have to worry about is hardened arteries and I needed the energy from the fat. It was late afternoon by the time I reached the center, the shops were starting to close, the people going home. The town was far from dead though, the night time revelers and tourists were starting to arrive, the pubs and clubs opening the doors and placing out there signage ready for the nights trade. The hen and stag parties were wandering through in various fancy dress costumes, one group were dressed in devil outfits....the irony was not lost on me.

What should I do next? Search the coming nightlife in the hopes of seeing Egor wandering around, or look for somewhere to stay the night and get my head together. I loathed the waste of time but the latter seemed the better option at the moment. I needed somewhere quiet so I could assess the amount of damage I had done to myself drawing that much dark power in such a short space of time. I was also bone-weary. A thought had also occurred to me as well. If all this had been planned months in advance, then surely success or failure had also been allowed for. I couldn't see Sveta letting either Gesar or Zabulon leave me like this just because I didn't find him in time. There was also the matter of a mirror.....I was beginning to doubt if there was going to even be one. I don't know why, it just didn't seem to ring true....so why didn't it? I couldn't help feeling there was something I was missing, something I couldn't remember.

More sobering was Nadya, how did she know I needed help at that time. And did she sense anything when.....it.....

I threw up in the gutter. Passers-by side stepped me with looks of contempt on there faces, but none offered to help. Obviously it was a common sight here. Wiping my mouth with my sleeve, the vomit stains instantly hidden by the glam still in place, I staggered off towards the sea front, total and utter degradation eating into my soul. But did I still have a soul....I had killed that day with barely a second though, ok, they were killers themselves, but that didn't make it right, did it?

I needed a hotel, a room to wash and sleep and cry in.

But it was over two hours and the sun was beginning to set, before I found one with vacancies, small but decent enough. I booked in for just the one night, the receptionist eyed me suspiciously until I paid in full, in cash. She commented on my lack of luggage, but I used a mild diversion spell so suddenly there was a small overnight bag to be seen by her alone.

The room suited me just fine. En suite bathroom with all towels and bedding provided. Half board, so I would at least get a meal tonight, and another in the morning. I was eating a lot...I guessed why. Whatever was eating away at me was draining energy from me as well, not light and dark types but life force itself. I was eating to try and stay alive.

My image in the mirror, viewed through the twilight said it all. As a hot bath was running I ventured a look, and the tears started again. The claw marks had stopped gushing out light, now they oozed a puss-green glow, and the centers were turning black. My eyes were no longer all white, they had turned all black as well. My emaciated frame was skeletal, I made the zombies in the movies look positively fat. No wonder 'they' didn't like the look of me thought the first level, even though they couldn't really read me. They should have tried it this deep, I had to go to level three for a true vision of what I was becoming. The worse though was my aura....no trace of Light, no trace of Dark, only pure Death.......


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

It was still only 10pm as I lay tossing and turning in bed, retiring early straight after my evening meal had been a big mistake, visions haunted me as I tried to sleep, pain niggled at me as I lay awake, and the constant companion of the skin-crawling sensation seemed worse when I tried to rest. Eventually I gave up, dressed and left the guest house for a walk.

The night life was in full swing, clubs blasting out music, pubs illuminating the walkways for huge distances around them. Crowds of people, some scantily clad, and not just the women, were milling about, drinking, laughing, having a good time. The night was still young for them, alcohol fueled ill-feeling still to raise its ugly head. Normally I'd have loved this, all that good will would have been a free banquet, now, useless to me. A young couple smiled at me as they past, I shot then a glance, including a small intervention, they would be arguing by the end of the evening, probably even split up. It gave me a tiny amount of satisfaction at there smugness, and a little guilt that I'd done it. If there had been Watches in this town I might have had some explaining to do, but there wasn't, so I didn't have to.

I wandered around aimlessly, loathing all the good will and cheer around me. I needed hate, I needed despair, i needed a depression as deep as the one I was starting to feel. So I turned away from the merriment and pushed my way through the throng towards the back streets, towards the real life of this town.

It didn't take long. Down a particularly dimly lit back street I passed 3 drug addicts, all recently shot-up, all lost in there own worlds. I touched their minds, fed on there inadequacy, there neurosis, leaving them feeling a bit better, and me a bit more rejuvenated. It didn't matter that the negative emotions would return to them even stronger later probably enough to cause them to overdose....it didn't matter, I was drawing in power that I needed now.

Two streets further over, an alcoholic, slumped in a pool of his own piss. I fed freely on him, his liver was already shot, he would be dead before the week was out, so no chance of recovering what I took, pity to let it waste. Self loathing makes a good meal, and at least allows the old soak to die feeling that bit better about himself. Who said being a Dark one was all bad?

I continued like this for an hour or more, taking a little here and there, restoring a bit of the energy Id lost during the day. It was the only way, I told myself, and it wasn't doing any lasting harm to anyone, not anyone I knew or cared about anyhow.

It was deep into the town I found her. Leaning against a wall, cigarette in her mouth, short skirt split up the side. Working girl, whore, prostitute, call them what you will, it was just what I needed right now. I could feel myself getting aroused already so I thought "Why not?". I knew the cash I had acquired wasn't going to run out before this job was over, so time for a little R and R.

She didn't see me walk up to her, she was looking the other way. "How much" I said. She jumped and turned to me. She wasn't young, good body still but past her prime. But her eyes.....dead inside...the spark that makes humans, well, human, was all but gone. Future suicide was written all over her. Life on the streets is hard, here was the proof. Normally I would have given her a reason to live, good feelings, some point in her life to carry on. Now, all I wanted was a fuck.

"How much?"

"50" she said, no emotion.

"100 if you got somewhere indoors" I replied, "I'm not into AL fresco fucking"

She nodded and walked off, I followed, I knew she wasn't leading me into a trap or anything, she was on autopilot, not thinking, not feeling. We went along a few darkened alleys, the sound of low life whispering off the walls, pissing or copulating in doorways, dealing, fighting, someone crying. We stopped outside a house, the lower windows were boarded up. She took out a key and opened the door. The smell of damp and neglect hit me like a wall. She never noticed and began to climb the stairs at the end of the hall in front of her.

The Room she took me to was sleazy to say the least. It stank of sweat and semen. Dirty curtains hung at the small window caked in grime. The bed had seen better days, the bedding had never seen a washing machine. There was no other furniture in the room. The single, unshaded low wattage bulb flickered, adding a dismal air to the whole place.

I tried to read her, but she was a blank page. I couldn't detect any drug abuse or any booze or substance dependency. She just didn't care about anything anymore. She nodded towards the bed and held out her hand for the money. I paid. And then I fucked her. I wasn't gentle, and took her in every orifice....it was cold, unemotional, perfunctory. I tried to probe her mind, illicit some sort of response, but she was beyond help. I lost my temper and smacked her across the face....nothing. I was getting frustrated, it was like screwing a piece of meat. I left in disgust afterwards, it had relieved the tension, but not the 'itch'. As I closed the door behind me I placed a suggestion in her mind.....she would be dead by morning, I was doing her a favor.

Back out on the streets I wasn't satisfied. I began to hunt for more prostitutes, and I found them, by the hundreds. I didn't know there was so many, of both sexes, but then it was a pleasure town, and pleasure takes all forms. But none of them interested me. Young, old, everyone of them had a desperate air about them that was unattractive. Each had their own problems, substance abuse, debt, violence, all of them had etched in there auras the life they had lived, but then, even a normal human could see the suffering on their faces. The itch dissolved, no more sex tonight. I didn't think once of Sveta, she wasn't here, it didn't matter. I lost interest in the whole thing.

Heading back to the bright lights along the sea front the alcohol fueled aggression had started, fights, arguments, over-indulgent vomiting....I could see now why people ignored me when I had puked in the gutter earlier. Then I saw her, a girl coming out of one of the nightclubs, sober, looking around, a Dark Other, she saw me and smiled. I smiled back. She came over, swaying her hips in time to the loud music blasting out of the open club doors. When she got close she spoke in my ear.

"Follow me....it might be of use to you." She placed her hand on my arm.

"Sorry" I heard myself reply "....Not in the mood just yet."

Her hand curled and gripped me tightly. "Believe me, you want this."

I had a shield up without even thinking about it. I think she felt the tingle on her skin and dropped her grip instantly. "Don't be a fool....I was sent to find you....and its not been difficult, with the trail you've left behind so far."

"Oh, a trail?" I wasn't going to say anything, were there watches in this town after all then?

"Dark's sake Anton, your path through this place has been like a whirlwind, and left as many eddies. Theres going to be traces of you everywhere for months. Of course no one actually knows its you, just an Other. Wont take long to add it up though. But that's not why I'm here.....I've been sent to find you, to pass a message on."

"Oh?" I was a little intrigued as to who would know I was here, and a little nervous to as to why they would want me. "Who would that be then?"

She snorted a laugh "Ha! He said you would ask that. I was told to tell you it was a friend and nothing more."

"Then why should I listen to you? How do I know its genuine or some sort of trap?"

"Dark ones don't set each other up, at least not without reason." She sneered in my face. "Believe me, if I wanted to set you up for some reason I wouldn't give you a chance to worm out of it first, not like a message would do, asshole."

"OK, give me the message, and I can make my own mind up."

"In 2 days, meet me at the top of the tower."

"Is that it? What tower, where, when?"

That was all I was told...I was also told you would know at what time."

I was no better off, I thought I knew which tower, the one on the sea front, a 500 feet tall replica of the Eiffel tower. But as for time I had no idea.

"Did they not give you a name? I need to know who I'm suppose to see."

"All I was told was the tower, the rest he said you would know."

I looked at her sideways and asked..."Since when did a Dark Other carry messages for people?"

"Since a favor was owed and returned. My jobs done here, its up to you if you go, I couldn't care less. You leave a bad taste in my mouth for some reason, but a promise is a promise. I'm done, goodbye."

She turned away and walked off, her arse wiggled provocatively with the large high heels she was wearing....earlier Id have appreciated that, now I was deep in thought. Two days....day six, or would it be seven, I couldn't help thinking Id lost time or memories somewhere but I couldn't remember where, or even when. Either way, it was pushing my deadline to the limit, and I still hadn't found Egor. I didn't think I could on my own....or was the message from him? Or was it from someone else, and if so, who? I decided then that the only thing I could do is wait, go to the meeting at noon, I was sure it would be then...high noon, melodramatic.....and then portal straight back, mission achieved or not. I turned and walked away, feeling light-headed and a little sick....portal away, if I could still manage one by then that is.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had to knock for the night porter to let me in when I returned to the hotel I was staying in. I reminded myself in the morning to book in for two more days, and buy some more clothes, a glam can hide your look but its not much good on smells. And the clothes I had on were very much the worse for wear. I glanced through the twilight again as I discarded my clothes on the floor and had another shower...the smell of the prostitute still hung about me. I wasn't surprised to find very little change, except the claw marks seemed to be joining together and forming a symmetrical shape. Coincidence of course, and my poor condition contributing to it. My aura no longer looked entirely like death, Dark had crept back in, but there were no signs of the light flecks speckled through it anymore and the skin crawling was lessening. I still looked like a walking skeleton though, and my eyes were even blacker, if such a thing were possible.

I sighed, I was just so tired now it was taking an effort just to remain awake. I showered quickly and still naked and wet, climbed into bed. Sleep still evaded me. My mind screamed at the days events, my soul was being ripped apart, and yet the pain of it felt so sweet, so clear. My body ached at every movement still, breathing was even painful, and yet I deliberately moved about to feel the pain, to feel pain was to feel life....I don't know who said that many years ago, but I thought I finally understood the meaning behind it. Eventually, as the sky outside began to gradually lighten, I drifted off to a short, troubled sleep.

The next day I booked in for an extra two nights, I didn't intend to use the second one though, the job should be done by then or damn the whole thing. I went out to by some clothes, I bought a local paper as well. In a tiny footnote was mentioned an OD found at the base of some stairs, and another who's mind had gone, again attributed to drugs. Scumbag was right, they didn't look any further. The wallet he had on him they probably thought he stole as well. All neat and tidy. I hated it.

I stuck to basic clothes, a light-weight suit of the type I favored, plain blue shirt, new underwear and a thin rain coat. Weather forecast was for more rain, but it was too warm for a full mackintosh. I looked at the dwindling pile of cash I had left, but it wasn't critical yet, and I wouldn't need any of it after tomorrow. I didn't think I could do the slot machine trick again though, I might be able to sway a roulette wheel at one of the small casinos, but I wasn't sure I wanted to try. I binned the old clothes in a recycling center I passed on the way back from shopping. I needed a pee. Nearby there were some pay toilets, similar to the ones I had crash landed near a few days ago. Days? It seemed like a lifetime ago.

As I relived myself I saw all sorted of graffiti on the walls. 'Boz luvz Gaz'...I bet he does, 'Phone 334675 for a good time'...yeah right, some poor kid would be on the end of that phone wondering who pranked him, or her. I don't know why but I idled there, and decided to look at the cubicle in the twilight. There was a little blue moss about, but not a lot, no surprise, the most emotions that place would see is straining bowels and small curses. But what did catch my eye was a tiny piece of graffiti not visible in the normal world, obviously written by one of us. The writing was tiny, I had to squint to read it......and froze when I did.

'All is not what it seems, and what it seems is not all.....'

I was chilled to the bone and yet I couldn't remember why. Id heard that before...but where...somehow I knew it meant something....but one thing I knew it sounded like...

It sounded like a death knell.......


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

I staggered out of the cubicle like a drunk. I almost bumped into a guy coming in and I mumbled a rapid apology. He grunted but ignored me. Outside the sun seemed to bright, the traffic too loud, the people too close to me. I had to get away, to find some space to think, and plan if I could. I headed towards the sea front, pushing my way through the crowds and onto the promenade. I found a way down to the beach. Sand slid into my shoes, irritating my toes, but I hardly noticed. In front of me was the sea, wide, wild, inviting. I walked towards it.

The water was cold, almost icy, as it sloshed around my legs, the contrast between it and the hot sun was almost sensual. I carried on walking, hips, waist, chest deep. I dunked my head under. Water flooded into my ears and my nose, some trickled down the back of my throat. Salty. All sound was muffled, light subdued, scenes dulled. The crawling sensation seemed to disappear, everything seemed to disappear. How easy it would be to just stay here in this peace, to die here, to dissolve into the twilight.....no maybe not. I was one of the very few Others who knew what was waiting for us at the end, it was a sobering prospect.

My ears began to ring as the oxygen in my lungs began to run out. I surfaced in a rush, gasping sweet air and clearing the little spots that had begun to form before my eyes. I shivered in the sun, the water temperature really was cold, it explained the lack of bathers on this beach. I splashed out of the water and lay down on the sand to dry myself in the sun. This was going to need the glam again to hide the sand stuck to my back until it had all dropped off.

I must have nodded off, when I woke, the tide was right out, I was lucky it was that way, or the watery grave could have been real. The sun was beginning to drop low in the sky to. And my stomach was growling. I felt invigorated after the impromptu nap, so headed back to the hotel for my evening meal, sand dropping off me and leaving a little trail in my wake.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The meal was hot and filling. I wolfed down as much as I could without attracting discouraging stares, and then gave up, used a distraction spell and carried on eating. After a 3rd helping of the main course and starting on the dessert, I almost choked when I saw my mysterious Dark messenger walk in the door to the dining room. She could see where I sat clearly, but if she did see me she gave no indication, and sat down at a table as far from me as possible. I finished my meal, 2 desserts and coffee, then decided to confront her.

I slid myself into the spare seat at her table. "Hello."

She looked at me. "Yes, and what do you want?"

"Why are you here? Are you following me?"

"It may have escaped your attention arsehole, but this is a holiday town, a busy one, there's few places with anywhere to stay tonight, I just happened to find this one with a spare room."

"Oh yeah, like I believe you. Why are you really here?" I squeezed her mind, but gently though, I didn't want to make the same mistake as I had at the flats. She looked at me furiously, I think I would have been equally indignant at being probed in that way, but I detected no ill intent, or intervention in her mind. She was a level 3, and that was all. And, as far as I could tell, being truthful. I let her go, and she slapped me hard across the face. The noise in the dining room ceased and all eyes turned towards us. Quickly I spun a distraction spell over the whole room, they lost interest and the hub-bub of conversation returned. I turned back to her, she was still glaring at me, but didn't try to hit me again.

"What the fuck did you do that for?" she hissed, "...you only found out what I already told you."

"Sorry, I've had a bad few days with some hairy moments. Its getting to be a habit now, mind grabbing first, asking questions later."

"No shit Sherlock."

"What?"

"Never mind, just an expression. Look, there's a few people poking around looking for you at the moment, nothing serious, I think they just want to know what happened to a couple of friends of there's."

"Dammit, watches...."

"No, there's no watches here, just a private thing by the looks of it. Looks like there human to. Hence the quick warning. I might not like you, but your still one of us. You could handle these guys with a wave of your hand, but that's no good if they jump you in a dark ally somewhere. It just so happened I knew you were staying here, and I really did need a room for the night. This really is one of the few hotels that had a spare place, doesn't now I've taken it. I advice you to stay in your room until the meeting tomorrow. I've got the next room across the landing from you, in case there's trouble, but I doubt you'll need me, just weave a few warding spells."

I don't know why but I decided to trust her. "There maybe a few more problems than that." I said. "I killed a couple of rogue Dark Others yesterday, it was either that or they would have tried to kill me. They had been sent to watch someone, someone I've been trying to find. It might not be that there humans. I.....had....an artifact that can hide an Others aura, making all but the highest look human. What if mine wasn't the only one? What if whoever is looking for me has one as well?"

She whistled. "Cant you still ward against them? Your much higher than me."

I looked at her. "Can you drop to level 3 in the twilight?"

She scratched her head. "I did once, by accident, had helluva job getting back out though."

"OK, take my hands, I'll guide you down, there's something I want you to see."

"Pervert" she smirked, but she took my hand anyhow

The distraction spell would stop anyone seeing what we were about to do. I let her lead to the first level, she struggled a bit with the second. I eased her through into the 3rd, she had her eyes tight shut in panic, she really must have been stuck last time.

"Open your eyes and look at me." I said

She did and gasped, almost wrenching her hand from my grasp.

"Don't!" I warned "......or you'll get stuck again."

She visibly flinched but forced herself to hold on. I saw her staring at me, and a tear leak from the corner of her eye. Shit, did I look that bad now? Most Others were use to sights in the twilight that would freeze a human to the spot.

"Can you see why it might be a problem now?"

"Fuck."

That one expletive kind of explained everything, I was indeed 'fucked', even I noticed the change this time. The scars were forming a pattern, almost diamond shaped, which had begun to shine a metallic gun metal gray. This deep in the twilight it seemed to pulse in time to my heart-rate. All trace of light and dark had gone, blended into this strange thing. But it was sucking my life force directly now, each pulse was feeding it more, while I was visibly fading here, almost transparent now. I still didn't feel too bad, but it was only a matter of time now.

I lifted us both out of the twilight slowly, it was the first time Id been that deep in a while, I should have checked sooner, maybe I wouldn't have wasted so much time otherwise. She was the first to speak.

"You cant handle them alone." Not a question, a statement. "I don't know why I let myself in for these things I really don't. You'll have to stay in my room tonight, if I can borrow a bit of power off you I can blank my room, and ward yours to make it look like your still in there."

Strangely I agree, normally I'm extremely wary of powersharing even with my own kind...but then, who were my kind any more? We went to my room, I grabbed my meagre pile of stuff and left, locking the door. She warded the room without my help. We went into hers, she locked the door this time. The blanking spell was harder for her, she didn't draw from me though, I joined in the weave, making it much stronger than she could have done by herself. Then we sat and waited. After about half an hour she began to pace the floor, the silence was getting to her. I decided to chat, it was the least I could do to take her mind off a possible battle coming up.

"You know, with all the rushing about, I never asked your name, you know mine, wouldn't it be polite to know yours?"

"Tasha....Natasha."

"Oh, East European, Russian?"

"No, born here, my mother said my father was Russian though, he never stayed round long enough for me to find out if it was true or not. Until recently."

I let that train of questions go. "Who sent you to give me that message though, you said a debt repaid, it must have been one huge favour for you to be mixed up in all this still."

Tasha shoulders slumped and she stopped pacing, sitting on the edge of the bed. "It was, although I don't know if it was worth it. The one who sent you the message, well he was the one who found my father for me, and arranged our meeting. It wasn't easy, and I found out why, he had to....agree....to some things to do it, some pretty tough stuff. Hence the reason why I owe him so much."

"Why would a stranger help you if they had to go through difficulties to do it though?"

"Did I say he was a stranger?"

"But....I thought......"

"He wasn't a stranger, he's my half-brother. My father was his father as well, he was adopted though, he only found out himself recently."

Something was knitting information together in my mind, pieces from all memory and knowledge forming into a single thought, and it came as a revelation when I reached the answer.

"Egor, Egor sent you, and your his sister."

"Tasha looked at me and simply said, "Egor said you would guess eventually, you know too much about his past."

I always suspected he was adopted, the difference in appearance and aura to his parent was too vast to be anything else. I even fancied he was a son of mine at times, some by-blow I didn't know about from my youth. It explained a lot of things. I think I was even a little disappointed, and that amused me. I was also relieved, if it was Egor I was going to see tomorrow, it meant my reason for being here was almost over and I could go home. But that would mean tricking Egor to be something against his will....wasn't I living proof that it doesn't work?

Tasha coughed and I turned round, I had been lost in my thoughts so deeply I hadn't noticed it was dark outside. She indicated to the double bed. "Sleep here, you need it, I'll keep watch tonight."

"You don't have to do any of this you know?" I whispered, lying on the best, sleep already taking me.

"I'm doing it because Egor loves you." she replied.....and guilt stung me all the way down to oblivion.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wake up, quickly." I was being shaken awake from a dreamless sleep by Tasha's urgent whispering. "There's someone in your room."

I leaped up, and instantly regretted it, the room spun and I almost keeled over. Silently Tasha grabbed me and held me up. "No you don't.." she said "...I might need you yet".

I felt a healing spell wash over me and the dizziness cleared. I heard movement outside in the corridor. "Is it them?" I asked.

"Yes.....4 of them. I risked a look through the keyhole a few minutes ago. All looking like they're humans, even I can tell there not."

I ducked down to look myself. The door to my room was open, I could clearly see them inside. Suddenly I froze as I felt a seeking spell weaving out of the room. I felt Tasha drawing on my power to strengthen the blanking spell and plant a false image of an elderly couple in this room. I sucked in air, it felt as though I was being stretched, even though she was being careful not to take much. Then the seeking spell touched the blanking spell.....intertwined, then the seeking spell moved on. I breathed out, I didn't even know I had been holding it in. The noises outside the locked door receded. Tasha began to slump, it had taken a vast amount out of her, I was eternally grateful, I had forgotten she was only a level 3, holding the 2 spells all night must have depleted her severely. I motioned her to the bed. She sat down heavily.

"Your turn to sleep. You look exhausted".

"Sorry to use you like that, I didn't have enough at the end."

"I told you it was OK."

"No it wasn't, you've barely got enough to keep you alive, never mind it being leached off you."

"I've still got more than you think." I managed to wink at her. "Give me half a chance and I'll show you."

"Men, all sex-starved perverts!" she exclaimed, faking disgust. But she still patted the bed next to her. I sat down. She slipped her hand into mine. I squeezed it gently, no words were needed. We made love for hours, comfort sex, relief at still being alive, no ties, no excuses. The "itch" went, I didn't even know I had still had it, it must have been waiting for her. As morning came we lay naked, asleep in each others arms. A knock at the door from the maid service woke us, we dressed in silence. Tasha spoke first as we began to pack our gear.

"You will be gone tonight, Egor said you would be."

I felt a little uncomfortable. "Did he know we would...you know..."

She threw back her head and laughed. "Even I didn't know we would screw half the night away. If someone told me yesterday I would be making out with a bloke Id only just met Id have hit them. No he didn't know."

"You don't regret it do you?"

"When does a Dark one regret anything? Who's Sveta?"

I froze......

"When you were coming you called her name, over and over. I don't mind, I was thinking of my late boyfriend, dead 3 years today. No don't say anything..." she put her fingers to my lips. "It was nice, but that was all....no guilty feelings, no regrets. Maybe I'll see you again one day, maybe not, It doesn't matter. Goodbye Anton, I hope your meeting goes well with Egor."

And then she was gone, leaving the room door ajar. I gathered up the few bits I had with me and closed the door behind me when I left. I toyed with the idea of going back to my room, but it was probably warded against me now, looking for my entrance into it. I left it behind, and headed down the stairs, through the reception area and into the street outside.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

In a complete contrast to the previous days glorious sun, this day started dull, cloudy, the air oppressive...a storm was coming. I kept looking over my shoulder for the guys who broke into my room last night, then realized I didn't know what they looked like. I gave up and headed straight to the tower.

The entrance fee took most of the last of my cash, I didn't care, I wasn't going to need it soon. The base of this tower was built into a large building, 7, 8 floors, above and below ground, an entire leisure complex with various activities. I felt like none of them. I stopped for a coffee at one of the towers cafes, using a few more of the tiny coin pile. I sat and watched a group of children excitedly chatting and fidgeting, waiting to go down to the basement and to the full sized circus down there. I've seen circuses, they have too many failed Others, below level 8 after initiation, working for them for my current comfort, clowns especially. Listen to a young child who tells you there is something scarey about clowns....they know far more than adults do, like most animals, the very young can see through the twilight and all levels at once, they just don't know it.

There's nothing more bitter than an Other that can never use power, they can forever see it and feel it, but always beyond there grasp.....better they were never initiated in the first place.

I knew time was advancing, so I quickly finished the coffee and headed through the complex to the elevator that takes people up to the top of the tower. The doors were barred, a sign hanging from them. 'Tower lifts close due to weather conditions'.

I punched the doors, raising a few surprised stares from around me. I knew doing that again would bring the security guards down on me. I tried to slip into the twilight, it was like trying to wade through toffee, I've never known level 1 so difficult to enter. Eventually I pushed through, and passed like a ghost into the lift, I almost fell back out of the gloom, it was so difficult to maintain now. I looked at the buttons, I tried to press the 'Up' but of course it didn't work, the system had been shut down to prevent someone doing exactly I was trying to do.

Somewhere there had to be a switch. I had to force my way back into the twilight to try and find it, no where on this floor, it was above me somewhere in the maintainence area. But no matter how I tried, I couldn't use it, no matter how I tried to manipulate the switch through the twilight, my grip was too ephemeral, too weak, to operate it.

I wept with frustration, I couldn't do it....but I HAD to get to the top, I needed answers, even if I didn't initiate Egor to the dark, and that was looking less and less likely now as I could even enter the twilight myself without a struggle. A Ladder, some sort of access area, there had to be some other way up for maitainance crews when the lifts weren't working. White still in the twilight, I sought, and found, a locked door and staircase up to the maintainence bay, in the roof of the complex. The key was still in the lock....or I would have been stuck before I started.

I still had enough power to divert eyes from my passing, the bay was busy, I wasn't in the mood for questions....I had no answers to give.

The roof hatch was open, a thin drizzle filtering through the massive ironwork rising above my head. I blanched, it looked tall from the ground, but from this point of view it looked like Mount Everest. I could clearly see the ladder up, it had a safety cage around it, definitely added long after this tower was built. I had to climb it, over 400 feet......great.

I tied my mackintosh around my waist, it would be really wet up there, and reached for the first rung. The metal was slick with rain, and light was poor, the sky was turning black, with purple and green tinged clouds building rapidly. This was going to be a hard climb even fully fit, I was only 7 rungs up and already my head was swimming. But I had to climb, I had to get there, I knew Egor was up there, he would be hiding but he was there.....I could feel it.

I smirked...no way would I be there for noon, but the closed lifts would at least ensure Egor waited for me, there was nowhere else for him to go.

Step by step, I dragged myself up the ladder. I could feel my breathing catching in my throat, a rattle that wasn't good. my vision was blurred, partly for the rain, getting heavier now, partly from the pressure behind my eyes. My whole head felt like it would explode. I felt a warm trickle down my lips, my nose was bleeding. I stopped to wipe it with the back of my hand and my feet slipped. Desperately I hung on with one hand, spinning wildly and slamming into the safety cage. My mackintosh slipped from around my waist and flapped back down, slipping through the bars of the safety cage and, being caught by a gust of wind, floated out and down towards the sea. Strangely I hoped it would make it.

I scrabbled for a foothold, while clinging desperately to the rail above me. Jagged knives in my lungs as I drew in gasps of damp air. My eyes felt wet but I was too scared to let go to see if they were bleeding to, or just tears of relief I was still alive.

Climb, climb....the only word left in my mind, all other thoughts were blocked out, all feeling, all emotion. I was totally numb inside and out except for the beating of my own heart, erratic, arrhythmical, like fingers beating a syncopated drum beat on a table. It was bizarrely familiar, but I didn't know, or care, why.

I didn't realise I was at the top until my head brushed against something. I looked up, it was the wire hatch at the apex of the climb. I pushed with my left hand, gripping on for grim death with my right.

Locked.

I started battering against it, howling in frustration. I forced my fingers between the mesh, shredding the skin from them, I couldn't feel it, I couldn't feel anything. The blood poured down my arm, my nose continued to ooze, the corner of my eyes were defiantly bleeding. I tried to reach the lock through the twilight but I couldn't even enter, I had no strength left. The rain increased, battering my upturned face, a low rumble of thunder echoed in the distance. Carried in its overtones was a word...failed, failed...

I keened, quietly at first, but raising to an ear-shattering crescendo. Everything that had happened to me was in that scream, the metamorphosis, the deaths, the hate, the sex ,everything. I rattled the hatch violently as the scream climbed and as it peaked, a huge flash of lightning streaked across the sky, a deafening roar followed, and the hatch lock gave way.

I clung to it for a moment, not understanding it was loose, then I shoved, swinging it open and dragging myself through. I lay on the metal gangway, the rain pressing me down into it almost as though it wanted to leave my imprint there. I crawled over to the meagre shelter of the overhang above me. I looked up. Above me were a pair of feet. At first I thought they were floating in mid air, then I realised it was a glass floor, a floor that stretched out over the edge, giving a spectacular view. And the feet only meant one thing....Egor.

I wobbled to my feet and found the stair up to the next level, an easy climb, but I had to almost crawl up, I couldn't trust my legs. The rain eased up a little as I opened the door and stepped out onto the glass floor, my stomach turned over, this was more scary than the 400 plus foot climb to get to it. The illusion was only spoiled by the rain drops blurring the view below. I looked up, over the far side of the tower top stood Egor. He was stood with his back to me, but I knew it was him.

Tentatively I shuffled across the glass floor, drops of blood splashing into the rain covered surface and dissipating into the varying deluge. Drops of my life washing away. I carried on until I was about 10 paces away from Egors still form when he spoke, his voice cracking with emotion.

"No closer Anton, please. I know why you are here. I know what your suppose to do."

"Who told you?" I tried to say...but all that came out was "........you?"

"It doesn't matter who, it doesn't take a genius to work out why you are here, I only have to look at you to know something is seriously wrong."

I raised my head and swallowed some of the rain to wet my throat, then tried to talk again.

"Why did you send Tasha to find me, why did you make me wait till now to see me?" Then it clicked. "You waited until I could no longer have the strength to initiate you."

He finally turned to me, the look of deep pain clear in his eyes...I knew then what I should have know before. "Egor...I couldn't have done it....no matter what or does happen to me, I could never force you to be what your not. Look what its done to me, I'm dying, I know that now, and I'm glad. When I'm gone, the balance will be addressed, Nadya will be safe again...and my work done."

The short speech took the last of my will power, I slumped to the floor, face pressed against the glass, and looking down at the top of the complex far below. At that moment if I could have shattered the glass without endangering Egor I would have. But I didn't even have the strength to move. I couldn't understand then, why Egor was laughing. With a great effort I lifted my head

"You fool, Anton, you still think this is all about you don't you? There's things going on all around you that you have no idea about. And most of them are around me."

He climbed up to the railings surrounding the walkway and lifted out a piece of the meshing.... precut?

"Egor, what are you doing?" I tried to use my most reasonable tone.

"I want a better view." His voice was flat, unemotional, dead. He began to climb up onto the waist high rail and held onto the meshing either side of the hole, leaning out over the drop below. The rain and increasing wind lashed at his face, he was swaying in time to the wet eddies swirling around him.

More lightning then thunder, almost directly overhead now, the sky dark, appropriate in the circumstances. The tower shuddered under the violent rumbling of the sky. Egor slipped slightly before regaining his grip. I found the strength to sit up and crawl closer to him.

"Egor, come down, its not safe, not in this weather."

"Not safe, not safe? Where is safe?!" A hint of hysteria was creeping into his voice. "You don't know the half of it Anton, not what I have seen and discovered this past few months. Not what I left Essa for, the reason to keep her safe. Keep away Anton, stay back." I had crept a little more forward. I stopped.

"I told you Egor, I cant now, even if I have wanted to I wouldn't anyway, not after what its doing to me."

"You would have, you really would have though, I can see it in you still. But you cant initiate me you know, you really cant. You never could."

"Oh?" my arrogance was being provoked, what little strength I had was being channelled into indigence. "I could have as well, I could."

"No, never." Suddenly there was a huge flash and a sound like a thousand cannons firing all at once, the heavenly hosts all in battle at the same time. Lightning struck the tower at the apex above us, shaking the whole structure. Egor slipped and without a sound, fell.

"Eeeeggggooorrrr!" I screamed, the last of my breath wheezing out. I crawled towards the edge, sometimes high places have nets lower down to catch people, and I also knew I saw none from the ground. Id just reach about 2 feet from the edge when Egor came floating back up and hovered by the gap in the meshing. I had never felt such relief in my life, but it was rapidly replaced by confusion. Floating, levitation was not something a uninitiated other can do, his aura was still the same so what..........

Egor reached into his pocket slowly, and pulled out a small thin object. I recognised it just as I heard a 'snick' as Egor snapped it into between his fingers.

Slow horror crept across what was left of my mind as I saw his true aura appear.

"You see..." said Egor "...you could never convert me Anton. You could never convert me to a Dark One.....I already am."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The blood was pooling around my knees, the rain no longer heavy enough to wash it away as fast as it was oozing out of me, as I watched Egor floating just a few feet away. I really cant describe the confusion flowing through me....I hadn't the will left to try to understand. I just continued to stare at him.

"Anton." Egor drifted down. "Please don't look at me like that. I didn't have a lot of choice in the end. There is so much you don't know, and you really need to know. And there is not much time. The witch you were told saw a mirror in the future, she was wrong...there isn't one coming from the twilight, it hasn't got the strength yet. What she saw was something else entirely. But that's not my tale to tell."

Egor kneeled down next to me. "This was all a ruse you know...to be rid of you."

"But why? And who....?". I couldn't talk any louder than a horse whisper now.

"Who?" He bent down to my ear. "My father......".

"Wh.....w..w..".

"Don't talk Anton, just listen. There used to be a story about a prophesy that was told a thousand years ago of the return of the Old ones. It was a common fairy tale amongst the slums and apartments where I grew up. Even when I had never heard of Others I knew there was something in the old tale that spoke to me though. When I first met you, the day I was nearly a vampires dinner, it was like a dream come true. You were the old ones to me, the ones beyond normal mortals. That dream has become a nightmare more than once.....and your not, we're not, the ones from the tales. They are something else...and I'm still looking for them. But I digress......"

He put his arms around me just as I began to keel over. He sat there, cross-legged on the wet glass floor, looking like a genie from a lamp, and cradled my head in his lap. I could feel tentative healing spells wrap around me, they couldn't help, but anything to help me to hang on to hear answers, ones I was giving my life for.

He continued. "When you visited Essa......you were suppose to kill her you know?"

He felt me squirm but added hastily "No, no, I know it wasn't your fault. I was there, I was watching, I know how you fought it. The aura suppressor. Mine had a compulsion built into it to, I didn't know until then, mine was to kill you after you had killed her. A dark killing a light would attract attention, but two Dark's doing the same? No one cares if Dark kills Dark, It means one less rival in the world for the rest of the Dark's left behind. It was someones sick sense of irony to try and get me to kill you. You would be out of the way, and I would be destroyed inside by guilt. Who you wonder, again, my father. He loves irony."

He shifted position, trying to get me and himself more comfortable.

"Essa was a lovely girl, but once I had been initiated I realized I didn't love her anymore. I didn't love anyone anymore, including myself. " A cold statement.

I managed to wheeze a question. "What about ..the Dark ones patrolling those flats, were ..they there to keep and eye ..on you?"

Egor frowned. "No they weren't, I'm not entirely sure why they were there. I did ask them to leave Essa alone though, they just told me that they had already been told to leave that floor alone. I was trying to find out why when I heard you were in town. It seemed more that coincidence that I should have not long since met my father and then you turned up."

"How did you know....."

"No one can portal like that without it being felt. I found where you landed fairly easy, and I know your aura trace anywhere, but it was all wrong, all....twisted. Tasha traced you, shes like a bloodhound, its her speciality. But we lost you for a day, somewhere near the fairground, no trace. I thought you had gone again, but Tasha knew better."

An itched in my brain again, a forgotten memory trying to get out that I didn't know I had. But nothing came of it and I asked another question.

"Egor, how ..did you meet Tasha and who ..is your father?"

"Someone I wish I didn't know. I always thought I was adopted, and I was right....but I never guessed......who....". He trailed off in thought. "After I met him, I discovered I had a sister....a twin. I sought to find her. She didn't know our father and was eager to meet him. She was so happy, so excited, I didn't what I could to get him to agree, he wasn't keen. He wasn't keen at all. I had to agree to be initiated before he would see her. It was.....painful.....but the look in her eyes when she realized she wasn't alone in the world, it was worth it. And I may be Dark now, but I will be a higher one day, and I will become light, like you Anton............................like you were."

"But who...." somehow I sensed the question of parentage was the most important of all.

"Zabulon." he replied.

The name exploded in my mine, my whole world was shattering, each answer threw up a thousand more questions. The odds against an Other having another Other child was miniscule, twins even more so, but Zabulon would have killed them at birth. Unless he knew for some reason Egor was going to be a higher, a great one, one he could bend to his side, his cause whatever that might be. I was right to suspect that all this started years ago, many years ago. But where did I come in to all this?

"How is Nadya?"

It threw me. "Fine when I left."

"Good, good............"

"Why?"

"Part of the old tales spoke of the time of the coming of the Old ones, and how a Great warrior of dark heart would be slain by the blood of his mortal enemies son."

Something clicked inside.

"One day Anton, I am destined to marry Nadya."

It was like a fire had been lit inside me, Egor had to be wrong! I was not Zabulon's mortal enemy, nor was Gesar my father, I knew that for a fact. My death would mean nothing. So why did Egor think it was himself destined to kill Zabulon. And why kill me now, Egor was already initiated, by Zabulons own hand, already in the world, my death would not make a difference. I turned cold as realization hit me again. Tasha. I had spent the night making love to her after the time I was suppose to be dead. Tasha is going to bear my son! Zabulons grandson.! Egors hatred of his father was blinding him to the truth....but wait, he didn't know! Tasha said he didn't, she was there by herself.

"Egor....I..."

"No Anton, don't speak....there's things going on here we both don't understand. All I know is I'm going to marry Nadya one day, you will be my father and I WILL kill Zabulon."

A rumble of thunder punctuated his last sentence like a proclamation. Maybe it was true, maybe he was destined to do it, but who were the old ones, and how could I, a Higher mage by sheer accident, ever been a mortal enemy to someone as powerful as Zabulon. And from the back of my mind another thought appeared.

"Egor.....who is....Kardos?"

"Who?"

I realized he didn't know the name, I wasn't even sure of it myself any more. The rain eased a little more, and the wind strengthened, enough to blow around damp pieces of paper around below me, lifting them high on unseen thermals, dancing in the air. At that moment in time it was the most beautiful thing I had even seen. And I was ready to go, unlike normal humans I already knew what lay beyond...it wasn't prefect but I understood now it could have been much worse. I smiled.

Egor saw my smile. "Its time you went home, to be with your own kin. I've been with mine, I wish I hadn't now, but whats done is done. Anton, listen to me, I'm going to portal you back to Gesars office, its one of the few places I remember as a child that would be of any use to you now."

He laid my head down on the ground and backed away, preparing the portal spell. I was still watching the dancing paper, one blew close to my hand, I closed my grip around it, it still felt dry even after the driving rain of earlier. Real magic in the air, dried by nature and set to dance for me. I smiled again, then started to spasm as the portal spell surrounded me.

"Goodbye Anton" shouted Egor, the spell fading him out rapidly as I began to portal away "....may we meet again in the twilight."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't remember a great deal after that. I arrived, that I do know, whether it was coincidence or not there seemed to be a meeting taking place in Gesars office. I remember landing hard on the floor, Egors calculations were a fraction out, not bad for a childhood memory. There was a scream, a lot of running about. I recalled someone using a lot of power, directed at me, but I couldn't tell what it was for, or what it was suppose to do, I felt no effect while I lay there on the thickly carpeted floor. Then I remember someone prizing my fingers open, the one with my beautiful paper in it. I tried to stop them, to fight them, but I couldn't even move. My last bit of magic was gone, my dancing life. Someone spoke, I don't know who....

"All is not what it seems, and what it seems is not all......"

Suddenly my eyes filled with light, sound like a thousand bees all buzzing in harmony filled my ears. I felt as if I was glowing from inside out. Light pouring out, dark pouring out, everything revolving around and me in the central nexus. I was only vaguely aware that I was standing, then hovering a little above that soft plush carpet. Then I heard myself talking, I didn't recognize any of the words, nor even the language, but it poured forth, it felt like a world of knowledge flooding out. All ages and histories all talking through me at once, the feeling was wonderful. As the light began to fade I felt myself sink back down to the floor.

It must have been a message, it felt like a message, I was the messenger, and now my job was done. I felt my eyelids grow heavy, someone was shouting to me, I couldn't tell who, or even care. I felt arms, small arms, wrap around me, hugging me. The warmth was comforting, but now I needed sleep. As blackness took hold I thought this would be the long sleep that a person never wakes up from. At that moment in time.....I really didn't mind anymore......

End of Part 1


End file.
